Friday

And as always, decorum is the key


As this tasteful year tastefully exits (stage keft), kabuki recalls with great fondness the many blessings of tastefullness that were so tastefully placed before us.  One can only dream that 2011 will take an abrupt 180, and head towards uncharted water as fast and she can hoist her missen-mast.  Yes, fellow travelers, 2011 is feminine.  With femininity cames great beauty, love overflowing, and sometimes pizza, pretzels and chocolate ice cream at 3 am.  Like you were going into work anyway.  You don't have a thing to wear, everything just hangs off your svelte frame, and even though they should be jealous - the other years just love you anyway.  Except that weird 2012, nobody knows what his problem is, but many feel it could be rectified with a little old custom we call frontal lobotomy.  It has really fallen out of favor, go figure.  As kabuki was shopping today (trying to fill that void that exists when you are not near) kabuki ran into many people who were not using the front of their brains at all.  Some did not use much of the back part either.  Whike kabuki is a lifesaver, kabuki is not medically certified to say these people were 'brain inert total crap heads' (or bitchs)  But experience allows kabuki to have a medical opinion.  They can't take that away from me.  Not until they pry the stethoscope out of my cold, dead  hands.  Why are deads peoples' hands always cold?  kabuki would venture that if were were dead in oh, let's say the front lobby of a Target, they would actually be quite warm.  As kabuki was earlier today.  While checking out I spied the cutest little re-usable bag on the counter.  "Are these on sale?" kabuki sweetly intoned.  "Why yes, they have been marked down, and we are trying to move them out" the 16 year-old cashier informed kabuki.  (kabuki did not know the 16  year old cashiers were part of the sales strategy - that store is obviously going places).  "May I have one?" kabuki demurred.  Women, even young girls, absolutely love when kabuki demurrs.  It is a gift.  "Only one?" the target cashier/marketing executive questioned.  "Yes, let's share with everyone" kabuki intoned, because sharing is just another part of giving.  kabuki is a world-class giver.  So sally sweetbread places the now purchased re-usable shopping bag into a plastic shopping bag.  This has been happening to kabuki all over town.  Are they too nice to use?  One cashier suggested kabuki might be purchasing the .99 cent bag as a gift.  Right when kabuki was going to school the cashier-ette a voice rang out "Hey, don't I know you?"  It was my sister - the demon from the downstairs of my nightmares.  kabuki wonders if my family has taken to following me now that I am flush.  Good luck to them.  A more probable reason is she has probably been barred from the local grocery stores (for criminal act upon foodstuffs).  It didn't matter, the momemt was lost, the cashiers' eyes were glazed, and kabuki made a hasty retreat.  So it continues.  Next time - how kabuki, in a moment of quiet restraint fell out of the office chair - for no apparent reason at all.  I suspect magnetic interference.   So until then is now, and now is then.  HAPPY NEW YEAR to my many (all 17) readers.  kabuki zero

Wednesday

2010 - kabuki wraps it up

mens and ladies, welcome to the year as i saw it, which is pretty much how it happenend.  yes folks, not too many hallucinations this year (damn), there's always next year. stayed somewhere awful, lost my home, now live somewhere horrible.  from super-megastar to scullery maid to a dispassionate cook - it should happen to a dog.  no, really - they are horrible with kitchen cleanup.  i read it somewhere.  my internet access went kablooey, then a small desktop pc accident, finally wrapping up with a netbook failure.  anybody wanna borrow my lucky penny?  kabuki remained bitter yet depressed thru this period, although there were brief moments when my hair looked fantastic.  life's little miracles, huh.  finally - it happened.  kabuki got her fibromyalgia disability case settled with the big ole gov't (watch out insurance company - you are next).  while most of the 8 years of non-work will not be retro-actively paid there will still be enough money to relocate to a warmer, drier climate.  kabuki is in the process of making preparations.  it will be an exciting year for all of us, because kabuki is sure to see wonders, and probably make up some shit as well.  what - like you're gonna stop me.  come on and bring it.  kabuki is like the cool breeze, here then gone.  like the mist coming off the lake.  unless that lake smells like dead fish, because kabuki would not feature that aroma.  like a lotta things, yes kabuki is like that.  many layers, subtle harmonies, a melody you can't quite remember.

This year came and went so badly, it was hard to find pleasure.  but here are some things i favored:
cooking outdoors.  silk pajamas.  godiva dark chocolate.  pot roast w/ winter vegetables.  hot air balloons (viewed from the ground.  kabuki gets vertigo BIG TIME) watching jewelry auction television.  hot bubble baths with a good comic book. listening to my parrot, who mostly speaks when i am in another room.  old friends.  finding out an old flame is still alive - and looking like hell.  really nice bed linens.  and getting my very own blog, happy one year anniversary to the man who told the world.  one day soon i will post the picture that inspired the title.  kabuki is back on the path, and you are gonna get to come along.  even though not one person gave me candy or flowers all year.  bastards.  but this is a time of celebration.  revenge is best served with a side of kabuki.

Here is my latest obsession, viewed via http://www.hulu.com/
The Legion of Extraordinary Dancers is a web series about two groups of rival dancers: heroes (The League of Extraordinary Dancers) and villains (The Alliance of the Dark) who discover they have superpowers through their dance abilities The entire story takes place over hundreds of years, beginning in the 1920s up to the year 3000.

Eye candy, ear candy, head candy.  If i could do anything at all - i would want to be smack in the middle of this production.  please give it a look.  how often does kabuki beg?  you don't want kabuki to re-enact scenes on your front lawn.  or maybe you do - you are a litlle freaky.  anyway - kabuki is back, kabuki is primed, and kabuki is happy.  what can you make from that?

Friday

The importance of good dental care.

Happy Holidays to all my internet mystery guests.  Having successfully chewed thru my restraints kabuki is once again free to mingle with the peasants.  And you as well, surely you knew I was speaking of them.  And they know who they are.  bastards!  keep kabuki off the internet?  kabuki will make wikileaks look like a pancake social.  kabuki knows things, trust me on this.  also, kabuki has no problem making things up.  before you know it - down will be up, kabuki's megastar status will be recognized, and i shall continue to place my size 7 foot againt the asses of the wrong-doers. rest assured my lovelies, it was one hard-ass fight, but kabuki prevailed. i have regained my independence, and am heading west as soon as possible.  How exiciting.  for me.  and what lessons may be learned as i travel across this great land.  by others, i am thru learning.  but not thru teaching, as i have a gift. for mankind. it is the kabuki way, and i shall delight in sharing it with you so very soon,  beacuse as you may have noticed AS I SAY IT LOUD - I AM BACK AND I AM PROUD.                        much love for now and ever - kabuki zero