Silence is wrong

Today kabuki would like to share a tale told to him by his neck doctor.  With this years' International Tango Competition drawing near kabuki felt it was time to repair his trick neck.  (While not formally entered, it is widely understood that kabuki may be called into service at a moments notice.)  Anywho kabuki was at his fancy-schmancy rheumotologist today.  Upon entering the building kabuki noticed it was dedicated to his doctor "Oh boy, this is gonna be expensive" kabuki thought.  kabuki also thought it was kinda gauche to have an office building dedicated to yourself.  just sayin.    So here we are, doctor and patient, con-fabbing, whenst kabuki notices the sparkley diamond ring the doctor is wearing.  It is quite similar to the ring kabuki sold several months ago.  It is an old unusual style.  Kabuki mentions this and the doctor says there is a story that is connected to the ring.  Here is that story:

A man, his wife and their two children were rounded up in germany by the Nazis and taken to the train station.  They would be going to Auschwitz.  Auschwitz concentration camp was a network of concentration and extermination camps built and operated by the Third Reich in Polish areas annexed by the Nazis.  The man turned back at the train station, and was shot dead on the spot.  The woman and two children were put on the train.  They were met by Dr. Josef Mengele.  Mengele was also known as the Angel of Death.  The boy aged 11 was sent to the gas chamber, the woman told the girl to give her age as 15, so she might be sent to a labor camp.  She was actually 13.  When Dr Mengele questioned the girl he discovered her true age. It seemed that Dr. Mengele had a way with children.  (I find this fact to be horrific) The girl was also sent to the gas chamber.  The woman became one of Dr Mengeles' house maids.  She served until liberated by the Allies.  When freed she weighed 55 pounds.  She fled to brazil, eventually migrating to America.  She had no family, and was eventually welcomed into the doctors' family as a long lost aunt.  She contracted a virulent form of cancer in her twilight years, and asked the doctor to please allow her to live out her life without pain.  The doctor assured me that this was indeed the case, as she surely deserved no less.  Upon her deathbed she gave away her few possesions.  Having lost everything so long ago she had never really accumulated belongings ever again.  Her house was given to a kind neighbor, her car to the gardner, and her husbands wedding ring was given to the doctor.  35 years later he wears it to remind himself that he really never has a bad day. 

If you remain silent when they come for me, there may be no one to cry out when they come for you.

                    kabuki zero

On this day in History

On this day, exactly one year ago, kabuki zero trans-located his pretty white ass to California.  Swimming pools, movie stars.  Can you dig it? (i knew you could)  Ah - the joy that is my new existence could only be improved by:  blue porsche, sexy movie stars and one large ass bank account.  Of course kabuki realizes how shallow this seems - too bad soo sad.  You asked.  I felt your question in my mind.  Quite handy - these pyschic powers.  Is it the high power lines overhead?  The windmills that dot my ever-so-scenic desert valley landscape?  Or just the continuing evolution of the kabuki?  The answer is WHO CARES!!  Kabuki got hot psycho kinetic power and is not afraid to  use it.  Don't make me angry, you really wouldn't like me angry.  (i kid, you will always adore kabuki - it is your nature)  If you hear  of an Old Navy store exploding - well - you have been warned.  icky things can often be found hangin on racks at Old Navy (or so my spies say, kabiki has yet to step foot in one)  Might as well go to a MALL.  OMG - can you imagine the horror. kabuki would simply go to an Orange Julius stand, order a hot dog, and die.  Would not even need to eat it, just ordering it would be toxic to kabuki.  Kabuki remembers from long ago, when kabuki's mumsie was still around.  One day she says to kabuki "I had a piece of pizza from 7-eleven.  It was not very good".  "Imagine that" kabuki replied, making a mental note to hide mumsie's car keys.  Apparently madness exists in the kabuki family tree.  Let us hope it never strikes our delightly personable star (ME).  Yes kabuki has often been the sanest person in the room.  Usually it is at family gatherings - but it happens elsewhere as well.  Kabuki remembers from long ago (my memory is scary - ask around) when kabuki and several hundred inebriated patrons of local nite spot Lost & Found were watching drunk ninnies light fireworks on the roof of the same said nite spot.  It was Sunday tea dance, it was july fourth, and we were on the lovely deck enjoying the festivites.  Suddenly a medium-sized fully lit firework fell off the roof and landed in front of our bar patrons.  It lay sideways on the deck spewing its glittering death flames towards one and all.  And nobody moved.  "OH MY GOD" kabuki yelled "DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING", at which point kabuki walked over and stomped out the flaming firework with mine own size seven disco shoe.  "Problem solved LADIES" kabuki said to the applauding crowd of nancy boys.  And people wondered why kabuki so rarely dated.  If kabuki is the butchest thing in the room - well you know.  Anyway - happy anniversary to me and my beloved bloggites - who would never watch the internet burn.  They would help kabuki stomp out the flames.  Because they rock.  And they are you.

And now for something completely different

Last seen in Romania fleeing the Big Bad Wolf, whatever has become of our hapless heroine?  Stay tuned for life changing news.  (Eastern Europe has gone to the dogs - if your askin)

What a curious world we inhabit - kabuki style

Early, raw footage of KABUKI ZERO messing with the video camera.  Better get ready for the paparazzi.

The Promise of a new day

Hold on dear ones, this may meander.  Let us rejoice in all things new and delicious, old and delicious, or just delicious.  (somebody broke down a made a batch of brownies!)  It is a beautiful day, kabuki arises at 9am to the joyful squawks of the unruly kabuki clan.  Kabuki uncovers the birds, gives them all a peanut, lets the dog out, opens the blinds, secures a caffinated libation and then kabuki and the dog go back to their respective beds.  We are not the crazy ones, its those damn birds.  One of them BooBoo (an Indian ringneck) has completed her mission of shredding every piece of paper she can get into confetti.  Being a tidy bird she then throws the confetti out of her cage onto MY floor.  Every morning kabuki is greeted with the aftermath of his own ticker-tape parade.  (must have been some party, kabuki muses, because I can't remember a thing).  Every day kabuki sweeps up the mess, and provides BooBoo with new paper.  (don't judge me, she's happy)  Every week kabuki also vacuums and usually damp mops the cherry wood laminate floor.  Today is a good day to vacuum and mop as kabuki rides the horse that is called Gingerbread.  (Kabuki had also baked a gingerbread and had it for brekkie - delightful).   As kabuki has been re-arranging storage while preparing the guest room for the friends and family that will NOT come and visit (bitches), kabuki has located the 75 boxes that contain the CD collection kaboo has been working on for decades.  Up to know kabuki has been forced to pleasure himself (audio-wise) via the scant 50 Gigabytes of music on his personal computer.  It is hardships like this that can eventually wear a man down to a nub.  Anyways, kabuki opens a cd box - screams - and runs towards the Yamaha RX-V870 Natural Sound Stereo Receiver with matching yamaha components and speakers (kabuki is a whore for matching audio equipment).  Why all the fuss you may ask.  Laying in waiting in the cd treasure box is a mix cd kabuki has made,  Kabuki has no recollection of this event - perhaps a fugue state was involved.  (nice play on the word fugue).  Anyway the title of said music collection is 'DRAG QUEEN MUCH? volume one.  Kabuki knows this could go any numer of ways, but is sure the vacuum will be a breeze.  Perhaps a little warm-up number, just to shake the dust off the old bones.  OH MY GOD - Patti Labelle's "What can I do for you".  Kabuki senses a string of patti labelle grooviness is running thru the universe.  Casting aside the kenmore canister vac, Kabuki begins to bring it to the people.  Kabuki is selling pure gold this morning people, get your dollars OUT! (say yeah say yeah)  You may only suspect - and kabuki will now confirm - kabuki can dance like a house of speed freaks on fire.  Sweet Jesus - kabuki embraces the love that is extremely loud (and clean) yamaha digital 6.1 dolby drag queen madness.  Building, spinning, (no leaping - mobile home) bobbing & weaving - there is no doubt that this is the finest dance routine this part of the California desert has seen in decades.   Final moments, taking it home kabuki hits and locks the final pose!  And kabuki's shorts fall to the ground - someone has neglected to don appropriate dance attire.  Glancing up at the open blinds kabuki is surprised to see NO ONE AT ALL.  Live performances can be so fleeting.  Lets only hope the spy satellite caught my laviscious behaviour (it did).  Stay tuned, because kabuki noticed that volume one was sitting on volumes two, three and four.  Be nice and kabuki will burn you a set, guaranteed to turn anywhere queens inhabit into a throw down wig-shaking party.  Because kabuki cares, and kabuki shares.  goodnight my loves.

a day remembered

The year was 1980.  It was mid-May.  Kabuki's family was all away for a wedding.  Kabuki's friend from college had just returned to Boston.  Kabuki was due to graduate from computer school in just a few days, and was not allowed to miss any more days of school or was threatened with NO DIPLOMA.  Kabuki was also sick as a damn dog.  Two days prior kabuki has visited the local emergency room, because he had the pnuemonia.  His grandmother had told him this, and he knew her to be a wise woman.  The ER Doctors disagreed with her, took chest x-rays, gave kabuki some cough syrup, and sent him on his way.  All in all it was a shitty day.  Did kabuki mention it was his birthday?  Well it was, and kabuki was feeling DOWN.  All alone and sick, kabuki started to feel warm.  Kabuki's temperature was rose quickly - puzzling.  Kabuki called his Auntie - another wise woman.  "Auntie, my temperature has just hit 102, que pasa?" "For crying out loud, go to the Emergency Room before you drop dead" Auntie suggesteds strongly.  "Again - well I am not going to be pleasant when I get there" kabuki warned.  Kabuki hopped in his 1973 Mustang convertible (red with white top & Interior!) and proceeded to the Emergency Room.  Same nurse checked kabuki in, same intern got him settled, same Doctor walked in.  Kabuki said "I am SO not paying for this return visit, do not even mail me a bill".  kabuki then put his head on the Doctors' shoulder and burst into tears.  Doctor threw several little white pills down kabuki's throat and sent him off to X-Ray.  Same guy pushed the wheelchair, same X-Ray tech - it really was all too much.  Doctor then announced "Why, you have double walking pnuemonia" like he had just discovered the disease himself.  "My grandmother told me that several days ago, might I remind you" kabuki was feeling slightly bolder, probably those little white pills.  "I see" said the Doctor, and although he was obviously not cut out for medical work, he was as cute as he could be.  Afraid kabuki was going to cause him bodily harm, Doctor quickly gave kabuki a prescription for some meds, a quick shot in the ass, and sent him on his way.  (side note: kabuki was rather thin, and every Doctor kabuki saw during the 80s used this as an excuse to give me a shot in my ass.  The medical community should be ashamed)  So properly diagnosed, kabuki returned home, feeling better than he had in weeks.  Physically anyways.  Still an emotional wreck (it was the 80s emotional wreckedness was in), kabuki settled in for a night of 'no birthday cake for the horribly alone and still sick as crap' fun.  As was the custom then kabuki tuned his radio in to WHUR Howard University Radio.  It was home of "The Quiet Storm", a nightly musical oasis of all things wonderous and wonderful.  Kabuki dared a call to the request line, and it was birthday magically answered.  "Hi, its my birthday, I just got out of the ER, I am alone and sad, please play me a tune".  The DJ created that perfect moment in time for kabuki, that moment kabuki shares with you know.  He played Patti Labelle's "Come what may", like he knew kabuki.  I put my head down and cried.  I may have cried for hours, but somehow I knew the universe was finite, and that somehow I mattered.

A little kabuki dreamscape for you

kabuki has dreams y'know.  And they can be ridiculous.  kabuki knows this shocks the seasoned kabuki reader, but deal with it sister.  kabuki seldom strays from the path of normalacy and commonplace middle-class white bread & mayonnaise lifestyle that is so desired by those horrible people on the television, but the little satan child occasionally fills kabukis' head with visions and scenarios that might be true.  kabuki doesn't judge - except for a fee.  (have you priced a 2012 porshe carrera s?  kabuki has)  Anyways, what if kabuki is really quite psychic?  What if these brief glimpses are some type of remote viewing?  kabuki feels duty-bound to the loyal reader.  Let history judge me (it wouldn't dare).  Let's light this candle:

Is there any truth to the notion that MJ our infomaniac goddess is shopping a canadian wonder woman mini-series to the telly people in New Zealand?  Connie Canuck - wine maker by day - super heroine by night.  It must not that get that could up North, because the costume is scandalous.  kabuki looks forward to many late night viewings of this adult-themed television event.

Could it be that screen writers are pestering our Mr. Peenee for bio-pic rights?  Rumor suggests his backyard is a hot spot for writers and producers alike.  Appearing frequently at hot spots and trouble spots - he always arrives in a snow white jaguar.  Has he really been throwing cupcakes off his second story catwalk at passersby?  (I hear the icing takes of vicodin - how divine)  We know he recently turned down a six figure salary to let his cat Sciatica (real name) work with Interpol.  The cat has its own phone.  It is a satellite phone, and the halls of interpol echo with the sounds "Get me the CAT SAT STAT", when ever the director is perplexed.  Oddly comforting, no?

Thombeau, Thombeau, Thombeau - where to begin.  Every time the Queen Mum gets a new hat a tiny replica is forwarded to our talented Mr. Thombeau.  More than one international incident has been prevented by a quick call to the castle across the pond (ditch the lavender mess immediately!)  He asks for nothing in return, although a knighthood is certain.  It is suggested he has the only Mini Cooper in existence that can run on gin, a gift from a thankful Queen.  We know his latest work with Bulgari is both exquisite and expensive.  That is just how he rolls. 

Felix has taken Hollywood by storm.  That is because he can control the weather, but only a little.  Not so much a super power, but he can make it humid enough to completely fuck up your hair.  Felix is not bothered by humidity, his whole family is immune.  His mother was a famous high-wire performer, and many nights Felix can be found atop the HOLLYWOOD sign (he favors the 'y' letter - no one knows why)  A hollywood legend in his own right - there are hush hush meetings at his hollywood bungalow every 3rd tuesday.  There is a secret room in his home, kabuki has seen it.  Up close - when that jealous bitch tried to lock me away.  Fortunately for all - Felix keeps his own home made preserves there, so no harm no foul.

These are but a few of kabukis' visions.  Stay tuned as kabuki prepares to open the floodgates and let the information permeate the atmosphere.  Kabukileaks - no one second thought - kabuki doesn't like the sound of that at all.  kabuki shall return when he has coined a catchy tag line.  Adieu