the artistry of the over-talented re-post

Looking for backers for my new movie. Its a 'star trek meets shakespeare' tale of love and betrayal. I call it "Romulan and Juliet". No good? How about a "Wizard of Oz" remake with ben affleck (lion), matt damon (scarecrow), ian bagg(tin man) and steve martin (the wizard). Who would play dorothy? who cares - with that cast you could have a baloney sandwich play dorothy.  I am available for re-writes and such .

more talent than i need - kabuki zero
ps hey bagg - you owe me now. i could have said dane cook.

The Kabuki Conundrum re-post (october 2008)

I have been away so long dear readers, I don't know how you survived. That is, if you survived. If you are dead - please do not respond. October is creepy enough without kudos from the departed. What have I been doing? What indeed! I have been working on my cold fusion device - because I am not prepared for another cold winter. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT buy a particle accelerator from Ebay. They are all junk. I was ankle deep in nuetrons, my vacuum cleaner was for shit, I just sprayed Febreeze and hoped for the best. But enough science - on to meatier matters. This Halloween - what's in, who is hot, etc. Let kabuki zero be your guide. Single costume - CHARO. Old School, but still entertaining. Couples' costume Dr. G and Corpse. Don't be afraid to hack off a body part or two - it is Halloween after all. Group costume - Lindsay Lohan - try to represent all ages. I personally adore 'lindsay at 50'. Anyway - stay true to your heart - thats' what is important. That and blindly following my directions. Because I know things. I have seen things. I could tell you things. And unforutnately - then I would have to kill you.

Be back soon Kabuki Zero.

I fell off the grid and bumped my head re-post (july 2008)

I have been away far too long. My bad. I have been putting a lot of effort into getting a life. Not sure why - but I can't stand the status quo. Kabuki needs cheddar and lots of it, to keep it real. I got needs. And so very few people step up, it could give one social anxiety.

Anyway, couple of things on my mind. One - watched ballroom dance finals. Exquisite, and then it became apparent that it was rigged. The only couple that fucked up won. Won't be watching that again. Caught Miss Universe - didya see the mangoes on Miss Venezuela? Good for her.

I am probably going to attack a home again. Paint, paper, the works. Watched some home improvement shows. Am I the only one aware? What they do, and for god's sake if they show up at your place - DO NOT ANSWER THE DOOR! What they do is give you DRAMATIC CHANGE. If you have minimalist stylings with perhaps, a zen garden - they rip the whole thing out and replace with eclectic circus-tent & carnival themes in primary colors. If you have a mish-mosh blending of interesting items - into the bin they go, you end up with brushed aluminum 30's industrial. I don't know why people - I mean victims - don't throw up and then drop dead. Contemplate the months of work necessary to remove the hideous affront the have forced upon you. Plus all your jealous neighbors just laugh their asses off while lying to the camera. "Nice, I am sure Helen will just love a primitive bathroom/kitchenette. That professional stainless stuff she had was for the birds. She had it put in months ago." Thank goodness I am heavily armed. Because miss perky fake-boobs and her annoying gay partner will show up when least expected. You step out the the store - bango - your front yard is now a rococo salute to Klaus Nomi. Why don't these tv personalities go and get real jobs. I guess we just don't need that many waiters.
Oh well - now I have bored myself into a stupor. Remain vigilant - we may yet see land before we succumb to madness. Kabuki zero

Another year can bite Kabuki’s snow white ass re-post (may 2008)

hello kittens. kabuki had another freakin' birthday. Time has NO hold on kabuki, although gravity is an evil taskmaster. My two bestest friends came up to chez mois, and we partaked of this fair citys entertainment meccas. Of course, first we went to goodwill - with a carfull of delicious gifts for the poor and tired. Dropped the goods off in the back, then swing around to the front for SHOPPING. I bought a hideous silver-plated shrimp platter. I had to buy it, because I already had one. Where a hideous shrimp dish is tacky, two are sublime. Figure it out on your own time. After successfull shopping (somebody else paid), I returned to the Cathedral (my ancestral mobile home), borrowed a big-ass truck(Ford f-250 superduty) and filled it with belongings which no longer pleased me. And off to the dump. I had never been to a dump before, and I dare say I won't dash back. Absolutely nothing going on. I mean a couple of people were throwing things away, but it's not like I was going to leave the dump with their stuff. Because people will talk. And then they would have to die. And I have seen entirely to much prison on CNBC (their schedule is predator, predator, prison, prison, prison and repeat). So if I killed all those people whose talked about me (and it would be LOTS of people - because I am popular), I would have to flee the country - and hide out abroad. Which would never work. I always have a 32 oz glass filled with ice, and a beverage of choice. And what country would be able to supply kabuki's ice requirements? Monaco maybe, and even then only temporarily. Kuala Lumpur? Not even. So here lies the predicament. You can't even kill the people that talk about you. Bad karma. But you can imagine them in uncomfortable situations, they can't take that from you. Often I cast my gaze around the food court of my local mall, and the song in my head is 'heat rash, cold sore, hangnail'. And while I may later regret such imaginations (i won't), no harm was done. At least to me. On my birthday. Like a card would have killed you. If you suffer bad hair do not blame me, because I did not go there. But I will go to my happy place, and send much hot sexy love your way. So go wait by the mailbox.

  surely not any wiser  kabuki zero

its’ back (re-post from april 2008)

my pain is back. my fatigue is back. my brain-fuzz is back. I swore that i would not go back there again. So many of the things i dislike are occurring, and so few of the things i desire are coming to fruition. i refuse to be despondent - but christ-almighty i am experiencing one hell of a beat-down. i think its made all the worse by my seclusion. Chosen or thrust upon me, my life is an extremely solo event. eech! party of one - coming right at cha. Am i melancholy because of this dreadful season, or am i just a turd in the pool? eww! On the upside, i no longer fear much of anything. If the devil shows up - i am kicking his sorry ass to the curb. Be more than happy to go hunt down Osama and set his turban on fire. Sit cheney down in a chair and let me expouse my views on gasoline prices. Or - and now its on - let me get my hands around the throats of the morons who keep fucking up my cartoon channel 'adult swim' programming.