Planet Kabuki - where dreams go to misbehave

Here we are again - You and I.  I had a dream last night.  My father was brandishing a large kitchen  knife.  For some reason it annoyed me greatly.  I told him I was gonna have him put away for a long time.  How terrible am I?  Of course, you never had to eat his cooking.  I'm just sayin.  Anyway, I was a little depressed today.  I had to run some errands, take the trash to the dump, other chores too horrible  to name. OK I'll tell you. I had to stand in a line, A QUEUE, in WALMART.  Please come and kill me. Me in line at WALMART. What if someone sees me. And the cashier even engaged in small talk.  "Do you have a bunny?" she asked as she rang up my bunny pellets. "You could say that" I replied.  What is it with people and talking?  Does kabuki give off 'friendly' vibes?  You know it buddy.  I am a freakin' friend to all mankind.  Little children smile, senile old geezers wax nostalgic when they see my spry steps.And the ladies love kabuki!  LL Cool k!  rap on you planetary sensation.
  On to better discussions. My hands hurt. Alot.  All the time.  My Doctor prescribed a pill for me.  It makes me hurt everywhere else.  So now I have a choice of where to hurt. Somebody is gonna get an ass beating. I might just cancel Christmas over this one.  SO heres how it goes. I have hand pain for several days - then I say FUCK IT, take my hand meds, wait for everything else to hurt. If I learn how to hold a weapon in my feet - well then its gonna get unpleasant.  Until then I may just frown alot.  It has been slow going as I move into my new kauki lounge.  I do not know why people flee when I move.  I relocate frequently - you think they would get used to it.  I can't help it if I have  heavy furniture.  Hit the gym a bit more often you sissies, and it won't be a problem.  Of course I can't carry a damn thing.  But I can supervise like a mad woman.  Thinking back, there are a lot of things I can do like a mad woman.  Maybe that can be the name of my one man show "Like A Mad Woman", an evening with kabuki zero.  I smell a cable series.  Everybody rush out and get HD Big Screens right now, because you will want this show to be life size or better.  That way when I tell people 'it's gonna be big', it will have the ring of  truth.  I  am counting on you, and I know you will come thru.  Also - some startup cash - just till I get the first 6 episodes in the bag.  Thanks in advance, love you long time, kabuki zero.


  1. How many costume changes will there be?

  2. I see a great future in your own TV show... sort of a cross between Rachel Ray & The Loretta Young Show with a splash of Dragnet?

    I wish I could have a truck & 4 strapping young men to help with your move. Damn I hate this recession.

  3. Did Saks stop carrying bunny pellets?

  4. bunny pellets? is that what they're doing to rabbits nowadays? and leave it to walmart to sell the damn things.