Happy Birthday to FELIX IN HOLLYWOOD

Yes children, the inimitable Felix (of Felix in Hollywood fame) is having a birthday right now.  This very moment.  And while he is no doubt esconced in a luxurious hollywood manse being attended to by starlets and such, let us take a moment to show him that the little people (us) also appreciate his being.  Rescued from a burning wrecked spaceship by Mr & Mrs Kent of Smallville, it was obvious from early on that Felix was 'different'.  Short, thin with an abundant head of dark chocolate locks, he was so damn popular you just knew good things were gonna happen to him.  He has started a tour company in hollywood, and you can find out more about it by visiting its web  page here:  Reviews have been pouring in, and they are most favorable. 

A personal note:  mr felix was instrumental in encouraging kabuki to relocate to palm springs.  I am healthier, happier, and more optomistic about my future than I have been in years.  I blame felix entirely for this.  So won't you stop by his little corner of the interspace and wish him many happy returns on the day.  kabuki thanks you immensely.


And now there are five

There are 6 children in my family.  One girl (the oldest) and 5 boys.  I am the oldest boy and since my father died in 1975 I am the supposed Patriachal figurehead.  The 5th child, a blonde haired blue eyed scamp, did not wake up this morning.  He was 48 years old.  He had battled drug and alcohol addiction his entire life.  Some battles he won, some he did not.  He had one last good rally, kicking heroin and alcohol, and was living on his own in Texas.  The damage done to his body was severe.  He has broken his back at some point during his drug and alcohol fueled downward spiral, and it went untreated for some time.  How fucked up is your life that you can have a broken spine, and not be clued into it?  eek.  He had been shot, beaten almost to death, he spent a good portion of last year in a coma, we thought we had lost him and then he woke up. 
  During  his many years of turmoil I often played the 'bad guy' in the family structure.  I absolutely refused to enable his destructive behaviour.  I did help when he was clean, but when he was not I just couldn't.  Whether this was beneficial or helpful is not important.  If someone is determined to self-destruct no level of support is truely appropriate.  You can't fix what people don't want fixed.  You can't heal them, shield them, you simply cannot love someone back to whole.  sorry, it doesn't work that way.  Makes a good story, a compelling movie, but i can find no evidence to support this practice.  Anyway, I was called by another brother this morning, and given the news.  We don't know why, and that is also irrelevant.  If ever someone was on borrowed time, it was Frankie Joe.  I do not know why I was so calm and seemingly unperturbed by this event.  It is true that he no longer suffers, that he is at peace, and that the days of worrying about his welfare are over.  I should like to believe he rests in his mother's arms in heaven, but who can say.  He was a pleasant man, friendly and people genuinely liked him.  He also stole, lied, and did how many unspeakable acts we shall never know.  Such is the live of many an addict.  My own near-death experiences have offered no clue as to an afterlife.  It was just a shutdown.  A life stoppage.  My faith is shaky at best, and under constant change as i redefine my belief structure to suit my mood.  So i cannot say what has become of this blonde haired blue-eyed boy.  The one who struggled his whole life.  It seems so cruel to live a life of such hardship.  Did he know how awful was his existence?  I once drove past a pan handler at an intersection who looked like him.  Because it was him.  I was in my Jaguar.  That will mess with your head. if not then, later on.  Hello therapy. 
  So this afternoon I was speaking to a dear friend on the phone and wandered outside to let the dog attend to some business .  I looked over and the oleander bush i have re-grown from a stump was in beautiful bloom.  Huge white flowers all over.  It was simply amazing.  I said to myself 'i shall try to think a kind thought about frankie joe everytime i see a white oleander flower'.  I think that would be nice.  I come back inside and try to write a blog entry.  I cannot.  I google my brother's name, just to see what comes up.  A life off the grid is still not invisible, I did find one search record that indicated a man by that name lived in Texas.  I smile.  I google kabukizero, just because i am a self absorbed attention whore.  One of the top five search results is the local Heroin Treatment Facility.  I have never even heard of them.  I have never been in the same room as heroin.  I don't know anyone who used heroin except by departed brother.  Was he saying goodbye?  There are coincidences in life, and then there are shining examples of what i term 'there is more going on than you will ever know'.  You will have to draw your own conclusion, I just smiled and hoped for a better tomorrow.


A Love Story?

As my faithful followers (and a few unfaithful ones as well - zing!) are well aware, kabuki relocated to the desert for health reasons.  Since arriving in March the weather has been unseasonably mild (for the desert, that is) Low 90s and high 80s daywise, 60s & 70s in the eves.  Almost idyllic, and kabuki has enjoyed every minute of it.  As all good things must end, the weather is finally headed towards normal.  For the desert.  In June.  So 104 degrees slapped kabuki in the face this afternoon.  "Welcome to the desert, bitch!" Mother Nature hissed in kabuki's ear. "You forgot the humidity, whore" kabuki spat back.  Let us pause:  Should the recently discovered local dormant volcanoes suddenly erupt, one might look back with remorse.  Let us resume.  Kabuki spent many years in Washington, swamp-city, DC in the most ungodly months of summer IN FULL FUCKING BUSINESS DRAG.  Yes, we are talking sportcoat and tie, you don't pull down the big bucks or command respect in a polo and chinos.  Why kabuki recalls one particularly unpleasant august not so long ago.  kabuki was in his office. solving computer related problems, sipping on an iced tea when ther phone rang.  My kabuki-sense was tingling but i shoved it aside.  "Hello" my business persona said, "how may I assist you?".  Because in those days kabuki was all about the assisting.  At $37 bucks an hour kabuki will assist the hell out of things.  nuff said.  It was my Boss, a man kabuki admired and respected.  "Need a favor" he said, "Name it" kabuki said.  "Need some documents hand-carried down to the White House" boss said. "Why you telling me?" kabuki said.  "You are the only one currently available, the documents just arrived at your location by cab" Boss said.  "Hope the cab is waiting" kabuki said, "Sorry" Boss said.  Let us pause.  For the average person it may not be common knowledge that in the sweltering summer months cabs are impossible to find in our Nation's Capital.  They don't like to run the ac, so they all go hangout at the airport.  A pox on all of them. We can resume.   "So let me recap" said kabuki "You want me to walk from my office to the White House in a suit in August to hand deliver documents".  "That would be about it" said my fearless leader.  "I am gonna looked like a drowned rat when I get there" kabuki stated.  "A drowned rat with credentials and important documents" said my boss.  So for love of job and country kabuki schlepped down Pennsylvania Avenue.  We all know, it is an honor just to be called.  And kabuki did not answer the phone for the rest of August.  That is what voice mail is for. Wasn't that a fun anecdote?  I thought so as well.  Now, kabuki saw on the Craigslist that someone was selling a misting system.  Apparently it can lower the outdoor temperature significantly for those times you wish to frolic with nature.  Why was kabuki not informed of this?  Must kabuki learn of helpful and pleasant devices from the street?  What exactly do you people do, anyway?  Kabuki needs a misting system STAT.  Please contact the Army Corps of Engineers (or whoever) and get this project started.  You know in advance kabuki will be grateful, and shouldn't that be enough.  Does kabuki have to sweat?  eeeww,  it is almost 100 paces to the pool, suppose kabuki overheats.  Have you ever been in a kimono and white-face in August?  kabuki thought as much.  indeed.


Good news, Bad News, Silly news

Kiwi the one-eyed demonic Quaker bird that kabuki adopted almost a decade ago passed away last night.  kabuki would say it was from meaness, but who truly  understands the mysteries of the universe?  (besides myself of course)  She only wanted a peaceful little corner of the world to hide in, and kabuki provided that, in a big way.  The nastier she was the better kabuki treated her.  So I guess you really can kill someone with kindness.  You have been warned.  She was interred in a lovely bit of desert (my side yard) behind a rose bush.  A simple pile of stones marks her final resting spot.  kabuki has no doubt that she is frolicking in bird heaven, released from her pain and suffering (which she shared freely).  She is no doubt as beautiful as when she was young, and may she find the love she sought here on earth.  I know she was lonely, for she once made friends with a male lovebird.  Unfortunately she was unable to  share space with hambone (the male lovebird) for she was prone to biting pieces of other birdies.  I did not let her fly much, for she only flew to the next cage and tried to start a fight with whatever occupant was closest to the bars.  She was a slow and cumbersome bird. you could actually reach up and pluck her out of mid-air. like a balloon.  But she was one of my angels, and kabuki can only hope the kindness afforded her made her stay more pleasant.  I didn't really think I would cry, and yet now I cannot stop.  Say a little prayer for her, and all mistreated creatures (including man).  Life can be so beautiful, let  us not forget it can also be quite cruel.