Matters of Pertinance

Food. let's discuss. me first. pudding is disgusting. kabuki had a roommate that made pudding constantly. icky bowls of gelatinous sludge adorned kabuki's fridge. he (who shall remain nameless) would wait until the pudding skinned over before consuming. he (the nameless one) would treat the congealed outer surface like a 'pudding rollup'. kabuki felt it was a pudding scab. strangely enough, kabuki adores the occasional custard. and there you are.
Halloween. again, me first. many of you are consumed with angst, what is driving these tremors and facial tics you ask? you await this year's halloween chic. all things aquatic my lovelies. flounder, sea horse, anenome, let your mind wander. on the planet green network (a completely gay nat geo clone) they have been showing the sea shows on constant rotation. their programming manager Suzie B. has even been showing glimpses of next season at her beach house. Yes people, Suzie shows sea shows at the sea shore. (stop me!) kabuki has selected her costume after watching one of the above mentioned water programs. there exists a species of octopus which navigates through the briny deep by waving its flippers, which are located where its ears should be (if octopi had ears). it is even featured on a commercial. it is creepy and beautiful at the same time. (haunting) perfect for kabuki's megastar profile. kabuki even figured out the mechanics of the working ear flaps for the costume. anybody disturbed yet?

Entertainment. me again. everybody with ears (brilliant segue-way bukes!) should give a listen to The Lisp's monthly playlists. both january and june 2010 made me yearn for an additional sensory organ, and kabuki does not say that everyday, believe you me.  another show on planet green network 'the beekman boys' was briefly viewed by myself. can anyone guess which beekman boy kabuki would drown in their very own farmhouse sink? ick ick ick

Lifestyle. kabuki firmly believes everyone should have one. if you are lacking either life or style - please get with the program. you are ruining it for everyone. kabuki gives loving criticism only when awake, so some poor souls miss out. that is why from time to time kabuki will give general guidelines for living (tips for happiness) here in this blog. because you get what you pay for. sometimes. and that is just the best anybody could hope for. that, and falling down donald trump's stairs. cause that bitch would be carrying kabuki's handbag. until kabuki fired him. kissey bye byes - kabuki zero


  1. I should like to see the contents of the kabuki handbag.

  2. the foreskin on top of real pudding is divine.

  3. How odd that you don't like pudding, when you nickname in highscool was- Puddin'!

    I am am excited for Halloween. I am going as a bitter disillusioned middle-aged man. I already have the costume.

  4. It’s The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition over at Donn’s blog!

    kabuki must win!

  5. Mistress MJ wants you back.