Quite recently kabuki was in belgium with Lola Felana and Peyton Manning. kabuki was in search of the much-rumored divine chocolate truffle, Lola was shopping for headbands (?), and Peyton was on the lam. Apparently Peyton's brother Eli is a bit chatty. Anyways, while dining at a smart sidewalk cafe (the ham brioche was delightful), Lola spotted a headband vendor and salsa'ed her little butt over to the stall. Peyton and kabuki had pretty much decided that headbands made Lola look like a latin Patty Duke, but kabuki threatened to pinch Peyton under the table if he breathed a word of our discovery to the fashion-confused Lola. Peyton's phone rang for like the 73rd time (guess who?) kabuki snatched it and traded it to a small belgium child for his pet monkey. The monkey and Peyton seemed happy with the exchange, so kabuki set about the search for the perfect chocolate truffle. Lola returned, we assured her she looked divine in her purple beaded headband (not). kabuki decided it was time to visit the royal family of belgium, as kabuki is very fond of castles, royals, and jewels. Surely there must be a crown or two lying about the aforementioned castle, and kabuki just knew the Queen would have the inside track on chocolate truffles of a most delectable nature. Queens are good about these things. Plumbing repairs - not so much. kabuki's powder room is still a horror - due in no small part to Queen Elizabeth. kabuki will speak no further on this wretched affair. (aside - she also knows jack about truffles. It's like she is not even european royalty at all). While traveling thru the lovely streets of belgium, safely esconced in the back of a grey maybach guard (europe can get dicey, and neither peyton or kabuki can run worth a damn. kabuki swears it is the shoes), Peyton decided he wanted a pair of leather shorts. kabuki puts the blame squarely on Lola for the idea. kabuki assured Peyton that leather shorts were never, ever appropriate. Especially at the palace of the Belgium King & Queen. kabuki and you, dear reader both know that Queen Mathilde would plotz if Peyton came strolling into the royal hall in tight leather shorts. kabuki is already in disfavor with several Queens (imagine that), mostly for refusing to reveal where kabuki obtains the silk for the silk kimonos kabuki is famous for. kabuki just cannot. Can you imagin the horror, the trajedy, the humanity, when some silly Queen spills royal jelly on her silk frock. When kabuki's mercer read the latest Enquirer and saw Queen Thumblethumbs in her ruined silk frock - well the next kimono would be made of kabuki's hide. alas Always remember - days go by and still kabuki thinks of you.
