At 9pm california time, Elmo died in my arms. Rest in Peace my beloved friend.
There is a hole at the bottom of the ocean
There is a hole at the bottom of the ocean. At the bottom of the hole - that is where grief lives. Elmo my long haired chihuahua, constant companion of 16 years, lays dying beside me. I am powerless to do anything about it. He is the only being on the planet to spend that much time with me. Even my parents didn't keep me around for 16 years. Elmo never had a bad day, or at least never shared it with me. I tried to prepare myself but could not. His unconditional love spans both time and space. I sit beside him, giving him cool water with a straw and I want to just run away and cry. forever. My weakness sickens me. When I was first taken ill, so many years ago, elmo would stay in bed with me all day. I would not have done the same for him. I can barely stay in the house. I played 'funeral for a friend' and went hysterical. I am sure I would not be alive if not for him. He gave my life both structure and purpose. I am a better man for having known him. There will never be another. And I will never be the same. kabuki is broken, and the world is a cold lonely place. again.