Friday

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, sasquatch?

I don't care for the french.  I can't help it.  Frog biting snail eaters.  Crunchy crusty bread. Entrails and innards.  They will stick the most disgusting things in their mouths.   Kabuki cannot count the number of times someone has tried to put something disgusting in kabuki's mouth.  Kabuki bets they were french (You know who you are!)  Some peoples children.  Really.  Francophile - sounds like something that comes in a can. Felix is a bit french ya'know.  Boat neck t-shirts and berets.  EEEKK!  Kabuki is mortified.  Of course kabuki would never let Felix know that.  Kabuki was not surprised to learn that the Yeti, or abdomenible Snowman, was in fact french.  And what is so abdomenible about a big hulking beast, anyways.  Speaking of beasts, Kabuki is not going to imply that  Gérard Depardieu is in fact a Yeti.  However - have you seen a photo of Mr. Depardieu with a Yeti?  Neither has kabuki.  He does have an awful abdomen.  just sayin.  Oh kabuki could go on for hours about those souffle eating bastards, but kabuki is really more of a lover than a fighter.  So we shall put aside our bad feelings for the frenchies, and follow our moral compass onward towards glory.  As long as kabuki does not have to step in foot in Italy - OH MY GOD!  The Italians.  Anyways - kabuki is proud to be of german & irish heritage, and is doubly proud to pretend to be an asian princess.  And as a true californian transplant kabuki will soon take time  to speak awful things about the Mexicans - who very well may be ruining it for everyone.

7 comments:

  1. Mistress MJ never thought that she would see the day when she would disagree with anything that spills from the honeyed lips of kabuki zero.

    Therefore she must lie down in a darkened room with a cold compress and await the next post.

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  2. With me, it's the Belgians. A filthy lot. Flemish, you know. And the Bulgarians? Not use for them and their bleak country.

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  3. THE RUSSIANS ARE COMMING! THE RUSSIANS ARE COMMING!

    And I thought Kabuki was a supernatural being from a parallel dimension on a special mission to bring enlightenment in this world. What a let down!

    *pours content of all irish whisky bottles into bidet*

    From now on, I'll only drink Bordeau wine!

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  4. I'm with MJ and Jon, this blog is merde.

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  5. Well, MJ lives in Canada, which is practically French and as you pointed out, Felix, berets and that sissy name.

    Personally, I think taking a combined German/Irish bloodline (which guarantees skin as white as the innards of a parsnip) to live in an environment where the sun a constant blasto death machine is a bold, maybe even sassy, move.

    ReplyDelete