Firsties - in the words of the late great Whitney Houston "BOBBY, kiss my ass!". Where was kabuki? The famed and often ill-advised kabuki was stricken with a malaise of no small stature. A malodorous, malingering malaise. When the goddess kabuki is depressed the creative spirit literally leaps from kabuki's delicate frame, but this malaise was more of a 'let us reflect on - oh crap, lets go play bingo!' Kabuki is not proud, but the holding pattern lasting the last quarter of 2012 has been banished. NFTL - as kabuki would say. (not feeling the love) Also not feeling any love is SSSBF (super secret straight boyfriend) who was shown the door weeks ago. Arm candy is not enjoyable if you don't get to eat any of it. (kabuki does love the sweets)
Kabuki Laboratories has been hard at work, you will undoubtably be ecstatic to learn. We are all aware of physical micro-expressions - the little tells that give away your subconcious (or unconcious for a few of you POW!). Well here at Kabuki Laboratories we are working on cutting edge science with verbal micr-expressions - the little words that slip out after you think you have finished speaking. An example - Store Employee says "May I help you?" followed by a millisecond long "You hideous seacow". You reply "Just Browsing" with a verbal micro-expression "Look, a whore with a day job". People, you do not need kabuki to tell you this is going to be BIG BIG BIG. Why do you think Oprah went off the air? Kabuki cannot say another word. Patents and such. Kabuki knows you understand, and when the royalty checks start rolling in you are sooo invited over shrimp cocktails and such. Such such such. Such is going to be a buzz-word in 2013, kabuki has a vibe for trends. Perhaps it is time for another IN & OUT guide for the unobservant. Later, let us get thru odds & ends.
The parts of the animal kingdom residing at kabuki's doublewide castle remains fixed. 3 parrots (one moody, one crabby, one crazy). The poodle continues to be the happiest animal ever created, and trust kabuki when he tells you it is NOT contagious. Kabuki would render the dog senseless, but the cockatoo has claimed that task. She would take that dog down in a flash, except she adores the attention. Is this ringing any bells for anyone? Kabuki has no bone to pick with attention whores, needy little soul-sucking weasels that they are.
A friend from high school stopped by the other day. He was returning from the Channel Islands - where he and his spouse had welcomed in the new year. (probably some druid type affair) Anyways kabuki was lunched, and fun was the side dish. Afterwards we wandered Palm Springs until we came upon the 26foot tall Marilyn Monroe statue, called Forever Marilyn. Tourists were thick about the place. Why would you take your children with you on vacation? Seems pointless to kabuki. Were kabuki to be invited anywhere nice you can bet your bottom dollar the pets are not coming along. How do you get away from it all if it is 3 paces behind you?
What an informative and educational blog entry this is turning out to be. Or not to be - is that a question? Is there money to be made with an Angry Birds "Romeo & Juliet"? Can brownies be a breakfast of champions? Will Matt Damon visit kabuki soon? Does Canada have snow on purpose? Oh the stories Kabuki could tell. And will, because kabuki is back, and dammit - it just feesl right.
Why would you take your children with you on vacation?
ReplyDeleteWhy would you have children in the first place?
Does Canada have snow on purpose?
Yes. To keep the Americans away.
Mistress MJ can finally put those sleepless nights behind her, now that kabuki has returned.
But Japanese are welcome!
Delete♫♪ It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...♫♪
ReplyDelete♫♪ Falalalala-lalalala ♫♪
At last! I knew, with a little patience, your inner attention whore would get the better of you and you would grace us once again.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back you stinker. All of us were concerned. Wine went to waste. The shown with little joy
ReplyDeleteKabuki? Kabuki? Oh yes now I remember... The gigastar with the double wide castle, parrots and poodle.. Welcome back!
ReplyDelete2013 just got better...
It is a Happy New Year now.
ReplyDeleteyou are all just too kind. kabuki may weep
ReplyDeletemalaises? don't get me started.
ReplyDeleteand kabuki specifically said "Hold the malaise" good help is just impossible to get
ReplyDelete