Tuesday

Mea Culpa Mon Dieu

The kabuki would leap upon kabuki's very own sword, but truth be told - it is as dull as a Dean Martin film retrospective.  As a creature of immense talent and undeniable beauty, it is puzzling as to why kabuki has been away of late.  Let us just say it was not all rainbows and butterflys here at Castle Rock.  The fibromyalgi trio (pain, fatigue and depression) arrived early to the party, and once again overstayed its welcome.  Imagine having the flu, falling down the stairs, then being sad about it.  yuck.  Kabuki's personal physician inquired as to kabuki's mental well-being, and kabuki blurted it out.  "Sad dear Doctor, kabuki is depressed" kabuki spoke.  The Doctor offered counseling, but kabuki informed herr Doctor that kabuki was in pain and fatigued, and would only require counseling if this made kabuki happy.  So anyways, kabuki found oneself posing for the wikipedia despondent entry (thanks Annie Liebovitz).  And like so many other creative geniuses that dance upon the very precipice of insanity, kabuki finds that depression fires up the creative juices.  But dear citizen - these creative juices are dark - and kabuki tires of creating yet another 'blue period' masterpiece.  (thanks Van Gogh).  Now do not you fret your little citizen-mind, kabuki was assured of victory over the depression as surely as the sun will shine in your beady citizen eyes, but the time - oh sweet crispy jesus - the time. 

Enough, let us continue in a lighter vein.  kabuki's first houseguest has come and gone successfully.  Much fun was had by all, and the lovely Castle Rock has recieved much needed sprucing-up.  Photos later - to be sure.  A birthday celebration was held (on kabuki's very own birthday - go figure) and so many well-wishers sprang up that kabuki was almost nearly slightly misty eyed.  (which is a fabulous look for kabuki)  While kabuki waited patiently at home for the delivery of the birthday porsche - it was simply not to be.  kabuki hastens to remind others that  delayed obedience is disobedience (thank you christian televangelists). Meanwhile  kabuki's smallest charge - a green ring-necked parakeet  did manage to lay an egg for kabuki's bd bash (better her than us).  German chocolate cake was prepared and handed out to the guests - which numbered none.  kabuki's memory is long dear children, almost painfully so.  The day will come, mark kabuki's words - when a nearby attractive and yet still desirable person shall beg for kabuki's help.  'Please kabuki, help me put out the fire threatening to destroy my humble abode!' they shall plead.  'Just a minute, let kabuki see if this dried out birthday cake is an effective fire retardant'.  And it shall not be the only thing retardant in that scene, believe kabuki. 

kabuki had planned to spenn the $590 million dollar lottery winnings to purchase the Bob Hope estate located smack dab in Palm Springs, but apparently some floridian busy-body has spirited away kabuki's winnings.  It remains remarkable how kabuki continues to shine as a pure and gentle soul in the midst of such tom foolery.  kabuki can only think of one reason.  Impending sainthood.  But do not think kabuki shall abandon the silk finery of an extensive kimono collection for heavenly robes.  kabuki has never needed wings to soar - and neither do you.  So come fly with kabuki, and let us see what new dreams we can conjure up.  kabuki loves you like candy - really.

6 comments:

  1. though i'm sorry to read it, this is
    the best line you've ever written...

    "Imagine having the flu, falling down
    the stairs, then being sad about it."

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  2. Sending you birthday funds for a new silk Kimona worthy of sainthood. Do try not to outshine the others.. although I know you will as you always do. love u..

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  3. That kabuki has written this post using THREE languages (four, if you include the language of love) impresses the hell out of Mistress MJ.

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  4. Mistress MJ is pining, as she so often does, for the return of kabuki.

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  5. Oh, honey, I wish I was there to be depressed with you. It would be fun!

    ReplyDelete