So sorry to be away for so long. Heat, humidity and physical labor have conspired to keep kabuki down. Just like the man used to down. kabuki continues to fight (single-handedly) the evil that faces mankind. And by that I mean of course - my sisters' kitchen. Yesterday- sun-dried giraffe entrails with gulf-oil slick gravy. (just a guess). Needless to say I am preparing my own delicasies upstairs. As well as scullery maid, I cotinue to move my belongings from nextx door (old residence) to upstairs (new residence). It is exhausting work, and if Felix says 'hoarder' one more time he is out of the will. Just because some of us need an occasional change of clothes, it isno reason to be unkind. Perhaps if kabuki did not look so good it would be easier. Is it my fault if designer duds love the kabuki frame? Yes it is, and don't hate me for it. Hate me for something else. I don't care anymore. I just get up everyday and make you kids breakfast. Cold comfort, thats my thanks. Speaking of breakfast, I tried Grape Nuts cereal the other day. I think they mistakenly put kitty litter in my box. Won't pull that box out for company, that's for certain. And whileon the food theme - please help kabuki to understand. As kabuki ate Costco pizza (it's good), a young family sat down with their pizza. They then covered each and every slice of pizza wita a layer of pickle relish. I said layer, like a quater of an inch thick. And they ate every bite. At first I thought they were from middle europe, but I later dismissed that notion. What if they were from outer space? That is how you tell space aliens on tv. They are always eating something disgusting. And it clicked. My sister - why her entire family - they could be space aliens. I mean really - nobody cooks like her. I know, because Ihave been around. I would say ask Felix, but he'll just say something snarky. That's why I often sing "My bologna has a first name, its F E L I X". Then laugh wickedly. You should try and laugh wickedly at least once a day. Preferably when you are alone, because that seems more devious to me. But kabuki may be wrong (I'm not). What with the space aliens so close. And don't worry about my lineage, I am convinced there was a mixup at the hospital where I was born. And that hospital has since been torn down. All very X-Files. I would ask David Duchovny - but he is such a perv. Another unanswered question in kabuki's life. Such an air of mystery - I know that is what they say. About kabuki. Who can blame them? So very sad.
Best we move on. Any and all readers who may remember the Prize-winning Pirate furniture that disgraced kabuki's living room will delight to know it has moved on. Ithrew each and every piece off the second floor porch. I then loaded the broken remains into a truck, and they were placed upon a pileof brush, soon to become a bonfire. And what a fire it be, as the nasty pine wood - stained poop-brown - is reduced to ashes. I shall raise a glass, and toast my future- future unencumbered by pirate furniture. Now to do something about those draperies. Peop;e are breaking in to my house. And they are leaving hideous draperies. What can it mean, dear reader? Is kabuki doomed to a life of ugly fabric? How is one to look out the window. I have been using a stick to push back the offending curtains, but surely that cannot continue. I expect that stick to disappear any day now. Because stuff disappears around here. kabuki is not saying conspiracy, but I'm not NOT saying it either. wink nudge. And just look at my living room - my sister has 1 hour to remove this crap, or I am tie-dyeing the lot of it. And then kabuki will feed it to goats. So until next time, know that kabuki is doing all a superstar can do to rejoin the interweb, and live life the civilized way. abiento.