Wednesday

Kabuki asks the hard questions

I shall visit the medical offices of my new Doctor tomorrow.  I am expecting the worst.  It is almost certain that kabuki has only 30 or so years left on this mortal coil.  And they are not all going to be party-down hell-bent-for-leather years either.  kabuki is sure some of the latter years will require adult supervision and sedatives.  So what kabuki is saying, (the elephant in the room per se) is DON'T I GET TO DRIVE ANY MORE SPORTS CARS BEFORE I SUCCUMB?  Really people, if it were easy everyone would be driving one.  kabuki looks fantastic in a sports car. This is fact, not just my opinion.  It is even noted in Wikipedia (if i have time).  So what if Barbara Bachman, presidential candidate and nut-case runs a clinic offering 'gay-conversion'.  So what if Obama is determined to sell my disability checks to John Boehner for a promise of 'hot coffee for old people one day soon'.  Nuclear meltdown in Japan, instability in the mid-east. heatwaves, fires, flood, whateva!  How is kabuki supposed to relate to other peoples' problems (and that is what they are), unless kabuki is able to view life's difficulties thru the windscreen of something sporty, fast and hot hot hot.  Wouldn't you feel better knowing kabuki was once again resting his buttocks on a leather bucket seat.  People, I live in a freaking resort town filled with old rich people.  A simple drive to the store goes like this - mercedes, lexus, maserati, mercedes, mercedes, jaguar, porsche.  It is painful to be sure.  Don't you want kabuki to eat?  Must kabuki turn right (towards poor people) and shop for groceries where a purple station wagon seems almost elitist?  What if kabuki is recognized?  Don't scoff, kabuki is recognized and accepted more than the Discover card.  Would you not be happier to know kabuki is turning left (towards palm springs), with the top down and the cd player cranked.  You are probably not even aware of this, but kabuki has to use a GPS device that plugs into the cigarette lighter.  It is not even standard equipment.  The hot tears of shame that roll down kabuki's face do nothing helpful for whiteface makeup either.  Poor kabuki, standing in line at Trader Joe's with white makeup tears on  his kimono, it is a tragedy of epic proportions.  I don't blame anyone, kabuki is not a blame layer.  kabuki is here to promote harmony and world peace.  kabuki feels the fast track to a happier world starts with one person at a time.  ME, it is my idea afterall.  So if you have a spare sports car contact me here.  If you do not, you may purchase one for kabuki, or just click on the donate button and hand over the cash.  kabuki will purchase the sports car for you.  Thanking you in advance for your anticipated cooperation - kabuki (you know i love you) zero

6 comments:

  1. birthday cakes are one thing, but maserati's are another.

    ReplyDelete
  2. kabuki + norma + maserati = drive-in movie. kabuki will spring for a large popcorn!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The only thing that occurred to me to write, I'd better not say here. I shall have to call you instead.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "At the age of thirty-seven she realised she'd never
    Ride through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair."

    ReplyDelete
  5. please note: That song is not titled "The Ballad of Kabuki Zero" and i shall thank you to stay out of my cd collection. (it is one of my favorites)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Perfect.. just perfect. Tell you what I'll do. I will ride in MY sports car in perpetuity to commemorate the ride you cannot take. I will let you drive... in spirit. Its the best I can so when your so far away... away .. away..( can you hear my voice fading?)

    ReplyDelete