Beauty is as beauty does, or so they tell kabuki.  Actually they shout it as the Zero Limousine races by.  kabuki races almost everywhere these days, such is the life of a gigastar.  Appearances, charity functions ET CETERA.  If kabuki has to change kimonos in the back of a maybach landaulet one more time - let us just infer that some orphans may go without christmas this year.  People it is all just too much.  For you HAHAHA - sorry a little megalomania peeked out.  People often ask kabuki, they say "kabuki - how does one achieve giga-stardom.?"  kabuki kindly replies "kabuki achieves it naturally, you personally can only hope for divine intervention".  Best to let them down softly, as kindness is kabuki's bread and butter.  Beauty was born on kabuki and fame was soon thrust at kabuki - much like a peodphiles weeney.  How was kabuki able to survive so many years of absolute stardom without ending up in a rubber room.  First - rubber rooms smell funny, and kabuki dislikes offensive smells (incentive one).  Second - they rarely send out your kimonos for proper cleaning and repair when you are in the rubber room hotel (incentive two) Third - let us just say that kabuki is stong minded.  But really  - the dirty kimonos were the deal breaker.
So what have we learned?  We know now that kabuki handles the stress of stardom gracefully, gazelle like even.  We also know kabuki does it for the children.  So if you are an awkward teen, desiring to present the same magnificient visage as kabuki, let kabuki give you loving words of advice.  "Bitch - kabuki got this,  Go be you before kabuki makes you bonsai food".


  1. Beauty is as beauty does...

    now flush.

  2. Kabook took the words out of my mouth.

  3. How do you get the yogurt stains out of your kimono?