Monday

A Thousand Pardons

As all of my extremely beautiful and wise followers can attest to kabuki has moved to a glamorous megastar worthy motor lodge called Desert Palms.  Kabuki is awash in luxury, diamonds and furs, etc.  It is all kabuki can do to remain humble and sincere, is it not?  Anyway my babies, kabuki has signed up for the attractive VERIZON HIGHSPEED DSL - which does not work.  At all, ever, for any reason.  How incalculably rude thought the ever pleasant kabuki.  Unwilling to complain, yet fearing others would suffer kabuki reached for the New VERIZON IPHONE 4 - which does not work unless kabuki stands in the driveway of the aforementioned celebrity-worthy dwelling.  I was appalled because kabuki does the background research necessary prior to obtaining such expensive and apparently useless devices.  Due diligance and insomnia led kabuki to check coverage maps, read countless reviews and surveys, and even listen to the man in the street.  And why anyone would listen to a man standing in the street is beside kabuki, but as you probably suspect kabuki likes to follow the crowd.  kabuki goes along to get along yes sirree.  Don't make waves, be a small voice in a loud room, wall flower, a fleeting shadow at dusk, all of these descriptives are probably used by my many supporters when discussing my demure self.  So kabuki must apologise with a heavy heart and a shameful mind for allowing you, my reader, the important one, to go without the literary sustenance that is The Man Who Told The World.  And allow me to humbly thank you, and in my most Mother Theresa-like mood avow 'IF THESE BACKWOODS MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T GET ME CONNECTED BY TOMORROW THE HEAVENS SHALL RAIN DOWN A POWERFUL AND FEARSOME VENEGANCE UNSEEN SINCE KRAKATOA WENT BALLISTIC'.  In a loving and heart-felt manner of course.  kisses and bunny-hugs I love you too much to say aloud.

5 comments:

  1. You simply MUST be up by Wednesday as I'm expecting you to disrobe at the vodka fountain against a background light show to the strains of "Rondine al nido" as performed by Luciano Pavarotti and followed by a Dolce Vita style dance in the waters.

    Your public awaits you.

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  2. The small, the meek, the masses miss your words of wit and wisdom when spoken on the airwaves, such as they are. Weee little ones need your councel to maneuver thru life unscathed by the ugly underbelly of human beings. We love you kabuki...save us!!

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  3. Me thinks those devilish Santa Ana winds are at work here.

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  4. whoever thought technology would
    have trouble keeping up with kabook?

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  5. I think you should go down to the public library, coldcock the creepy old man hogging the computer terminal and return to us.

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