Friday

An open letter to america's leaders

If America needs cash, STOP the ridiculous middle east wars, the war machine has enough money to last several lifetimes. 
If America needs cash, STOP the ridiculous oil company subsidies, the oil companies have enough money to last several lifetimes.
If America needs cash, STOP tax breaks for the top 2% of Americans, they have enough money to last several lifetimes.

If the middle east wants democracy they can do it themselves, like America did.
If the war machine wants money they can sell instruments of peace, like other companies do.
If rich Americans need more cash they can invest in America, like other Americans do.

IF I HEAR THE PHRASE 'JOB CREATOR' ONE MORE TIME I SHALL EXPLODE.   If there were any truth to this monniker they would be creating jobs now.  They are not, they have not, and they will not.

Recently the oil companies made more money than any company in any business in any country in the history of the world.  Subsidies? Are you fucking kidding me.  I already boycott EXXON and BP, I will cook over a wood fire in the yard.  If you want to jack up prices again, $5.00 gasoline guarantees people will reduce their consumption dramatically.  Once people learn that conservation is not that painful you will be delivering gas to their house for free.   So bring it.

President Obama was clearly elected by the people of America who expected, and deserved, a more reasonable system of governing.  Regardless of your beliefs or promises Mr President you appear to be the whipping boy of big business.  Does the Republican party have your balls in a drawer in some back office?  I am so very very disappointed.  You are a one term disaster.

I promise the backlash of a grass-roots campaign of pissed off middle-class and poor americans will make the 1960's vietnam protest look like a high school bake sale.  Boehner is clearly in the clutches of big business.  I wouldn't be surprised if he actually lives in Dick Cheneys' garage.  They both should fall on their swords.  What a total lack of humanity, common sense, humility and compassion.  I am embarassed by the fact they are not rotting in a prison. 

Can we please not destroy this great country during my lifetime.  Thanks.

Sunday

The kabuki fleet rises from the ashes, phoenix like, to fly again


Beverly Hills, my old flame

Feast your eyes on my delightful 1975 450sl with 50,000 original miles.  A real head turner, she was the first casualty in my quick slide down the financial ladder.  I never drove her without receiving a compliment.  She is happily bopping around historic Winchester Virgina, I hope she is happy.  Behind Beverly you can just see the nose of Otto Bonn, my 1984  bmw 533i.  Bought at a Police auction for $500 dollars, I was mad for this car.  One of four thousand 533i's made, only available in the USA, this car was the fastest four door sedan in the world in 1984.  It is recognized for leading the sports-sedan craze.  Four disc brakes, 5 speed, 225 horsepower, wearing Michelin TRX radials specifically designed for it, what a delightful sleeper.  Kabuki was just mad for this car.  Not as luxurious as my Jaguar or as pretty as my Mercedes, Otto was just a delight to drive.  One day as I cruised the beltway fast lane, ac on, kabuki blew a head gasket.  I limped otto into a shopping center and called a tow truck.  When the tow truck lifted the front end, pretty green anti-freeze ran out the chrome exhaust tips.  "That probably is not good" kabuki thought.  When I got my bmw home my brother said "Head gasket, piece of cake" and proceeded to spend a weekend or so replacing it.  kabuki knows when his automotive skill level is exceeded, and does not try these type of activities.  When rebuilding the engine my brother accidentally put the distributor in backwards. Had kabuki been driving a   Chevrolet Monte Carlo (shudder), their would be no story to tell.  Unfortunately in the german automotive world such miscues are rarely forgiven.  Things that should be moving up were moving down, and vice versa.  Many many expensive german metal doo-dads met in the middle of the engine block with calamitous results.  Unable to start dear Otto, and unaware of the meeting of the metals , kabuki had the bmw towed to a small, expensive, exclusive bmw repair faclity.  They said 'Really, this is not the type of car to dump money into, get a little 3 series'.  Kabuki replied 'Is it your money we will be spending here?  No, then do as your are told'.  It is important to delineate the worker bees from the queen, or no honey will ever get produced.  Every couple of months kabuki stopped in and gave these worker bees a couple grand, and they continued on their merry way.  Otto was in the shop for over a year.  Kabuki spent over $8000 dollars to have any and every little thing replaced, refreshed, renewed - you get the picture.  This car will never be worth $4000 ever, but kabuki was in love.  Finally, 80% completed, kabuki took possesion of the germanic beauty.  New brake system, hoses, belts, complete top end refresh, trany and clutch service, windshield, bumpers, no stone was left unturned.  All otto really needed was a muffler and paint.  AND THEN I GOT ILL.  My beloved bmw sat in front of the house.  When I retired and relocated to Winchester the bmw came with.  I drove the Jag, drove the mercedes, bought the muffler for the bmw and placed it in the back seat.Sold the mercedes, then sold the jaguar, drove cars lent to me be relatives, still the bmw sat.  Got some money, bought a Porsche, still the bmw sat.  Moved next door (to my sisters) pushed the bmw next door.  Received my late mothers' purple saturn station wagon, which kabuki drives today.  When kaubuki drove cross-country the station wagon was in tow.  My brother rescued the bmw after kabuki begged him to not allow such a lovely thing to be sold for scrap metal.  Kabuki is sure that is what his sister would have done.  Anyway, as of last month it was running, as of this week it went for a tour around my brother's neighborhood.  I have told him how exciting that is to kabuki, and have given him full ownership to do whatever he sees fit.  Because when you rescue a lovely thing you should receive a lovely reward.  Don't you love a happy ending?  Kabuki doesn't know what lies ahead for the beloved bmw, but the prospect of a bright future is now a distinct possibility.  Happy ending, fade to black.

 

Wednesday

Kabuki asks the hard questions

I shall visit the medical offices of my new Doctor tomorrow.  I am expecting the worst.  It is almost certain that kabuki has only 30 or so years left on this mortal coil.  And they are not all going to be party-down hell-bent-for-leather years either.  kabuki is sure some of the latter years will require adult supervision and sedatives.  So what kabuki is saying, (the elephant in the room per se) is DON'T I GET TO DRIVE ANY MORE SPORTS CARS BEFORE I SUCCUMB?  Really people, if it were easy everyone would be driving one.  kabuki looks fantastic in a sports car. This is fact, not just my opinion.  It is even noted in Wikipedia (if i have time).  So what if Barbara Bachman, presidential candidate and nut-case runs a clinic offering 'gay-conversion'.  So what if Obama is determined to sell my disability checks to John Boehner for a promise of 'hot coffee for old people one day soon'.  Nuclear meltdown in Japan, instability in the mid-east. heatwaves, fires, flood, whateva!  How is kabuki supposed to relate to other peoples' problems (and that is what they are), unless kabuki is able to view life's difficulties thru the windscreen of something sporty, fast and hot hot hot.  Wouldn't you feel better knowing kabuki was once again resting his buttocks on a leather bucket seat.  People, I live in a freaking resort town filled with old rich people.  A simple drive to the store goes like this - mercedes, lexus, maserati, mercedes, mercedes, jaguar, porsche.  It is painful to be sure.  Don't you want kabuki to eat?  Must kabuki turn right (towards poor people) and shop for groceries where a purple station wagon seems almost elitist?  What if kabuki is recognized?  Don't scoff, kabuki is recognized and accepted more than the Discover card.  Would you not be happier to know kabuki is turning left (towards palm springs), with the top down and the cd player cranked.  You are probably not even aware of this, but kabuki has to use a GPS device that plugs into the cigarette lighter.  It is not even standard equipment.  The hot tears of shame that roll down kabuki's face do nothing helpful for whiteface makeup either.  Poor kabuki, standing in line at Trader Joe's with white makeup tears on  his kimono, it is a tragedy of epic proportions.  I don't blame anyone, kabuki is not a blame layer.  kabuki is here to promote harmony and world peace.  kabuki feels the fast track to a happier world starts with one person at a time.  ME, it is my idea afterall.  So if you have a spare sports car contact me here.  If you do not, you may purchase one for kabuki, or just click on the donate button and hand over the cash.  kabuki will purchase the sports car for you.  Thanking you in advance for your anticipated cooperation - kabuki (you know i love you) zero

Friday

I can't believe it!

What you see is my faithful companion Elmo.  He is not sitting on the couch.  Any dog can sit on a couch.  Elmo is sitting on a velvet pillow that is on the couch.  He is also reclining against a faux-mink throw.  There is no reason for this type of behaviour.  kabuki actually has no idea where he gets these affectations.  kabuki is secretly appalled, for everyone knows kabuki is a simple soul.  A cheap poly-cotton blend shirt dress and a glass of tepid tap water is all that is required to maintain kabuki's inner happiness.  Yet all of kabuki's animal friends seem to think they are animal royalty.  People must sneak into my humble abode when kabuki is not present and fill these animals heads with nonsense.  kabuki knows for a FACT: if kabuki were to nail a fur coat or cashmere sweater to the ceiling this dog would defy gravity and take a nap on it.  Why must kabuki be punished in this way?  It goes against the laws of man to have animals pretend they are in the walled city in china, some emperor's spoiled pet.  AND just because kabuki stayed in bed until 3pm someone pooped on the floor in the living room.  All kabuki wants is for everyone to just get along.  That and a good floor cleaner, because Murphy's Oil Soap left the cherry wood laminate floor a little lackluster, so kabuki had to rinse mop the floor.  This took the fun right out of my 'nap till 3pm' event.  Perhaps kabuki is just not supposed to have any fun.  Oh well.  pity party for one.  Next time:  how can a bird throw bird seed 20 feet from its cage, and then complain it is out of food.  Animal madness in the desert!