Again it begins

Kabuki is forlorn.  Kabuki did not win the 2012 two door Land Rover Evoq given away last week at kabuki's bingo casino.  A small mexican cowboy won it.  Kabuki knows he was a mexican cowboy because : he wore ostritch skin cowboy boots, he wore tight cowboy jeans with a BIG belt buckle. he wore a cowboy shirt - and he had on a big-ass cowboy hat.  (plus my friend knows him, and informed me).  'At least he got dressed up' kabuki thought, because the general fashion scene at the casino is dismal.  Occasionally kabuki will spy a pair of hooker shoes, and it gives one hope.  Anyways no new car for kabuki, who surely deserves no less.  Suffer as I do, surely a new automobile is the least the universe can do.  Knowing the winner has a scant grasp of the english language kabuki clasp his hand firmly and said 'Coma Tostado', and kabuki meant it.  Kabuki can give as well as receive - but please do not attach dirty thoughts to kabuki's multi-dimensional approach to life.
Kabuki saw on some blog somewhere a list of 40 things to do in 2012 for a better world.  Kabuki did not get past number 2 - Forgive Everyone.  'Obviously the work of an idiot' kabuki surmised, and kabuki read no further. For kabuki has decided to forgive no one, 2012 is the year my good nature will be kept in check.  For far too long has the universe backslid into rudenesss, meanness, and a generally surly undertone permeates the very air of my desert resort town.  Kabuki is simply not having it. 
Kabuki watched the political nonsense on the telly for almost 5 minutes.  It made kabuki slightly queasy.  Let kabuki sort it out for you.  Mint Romney - no president of mine shall be named after a common garden herb.  As for the rest of the republicans - ick ick and ick.  Now President Obama - nope, he seems a teensy bit ineffective and whiny.  When you are the boss - well it is your fault. nuff said. Ronald Reagan knew that, and there was very little that Ronnie knew by the time he hit the White House.  So what are we to do?  Elect Kabuki.  My years of government consulting have prepared me for just such an event.  Kabuki will immediately start sending ambasssadors abroad.  Six pissed off gays guys and a couple of pms'ing lesbians should bring Korea in line - and Kabuki has big plans for Iran.  (Think musical reality show)  My complete and total 'no war'  approach to world events shall have the military and its crony suppliers in tears.  Now mind you, if someone should come over to America and do harmful things kabuki will personally lead a squad of ninjas and kick their ass.  We do have the ninjas in America y'know.  You think the Girl Scouts are just a bunch of silly girls?  No no no.  They don't even bake those cookies, they have people for that.  So you see the amount of free time the girls have.  Kabuki is just saying those sashes they wear are perfect for concealing throwing stars.  Oh there are many secrets President Kabuki will reveal to the world.  And some of them Kabuki did not even make up.  probably. 


  1. aw shucks on the new Jeep. one would have honoured one with such a vehicle, even if one had to put in the fix, as some might say.

    consider this my offical vote for president kabuki!

  2. I would offer to be your veep, but I'm sure you've already tapped Dusty Springfield for that.

  3. I'll vote for you on the condition that you bring some honesty to the west wing by making it true to it's name - Move it out here. We could use the jobs, and a laugh.

  4. You have my vote.

    And my adoration.

    Who is your First Lady?

  5. My first lady shall always be you MJ. And the work with the esteemed Mr. Peenee would be nothing short of heaven.

  6. If 2012 is anything like last year, it will indeed be unforgivable.