It you want my opinion (and you do)

This delightful room is where kabuki sat while waiting his turn in the baccarat semi-finals at a casino saturday nite.  EEECH!  Gold glitter couch, how does one compose ones self?  Especially since kabuki had learned how to play baccarat off the internet the night before. Kabuki you zany hep cat!  The free buffet was tasty as well.  But what to wear, what to wear?  Kabuki felt the room lacked both color and pattern, but kabuki generally doesn't 'tart it up'  at casino vip events.  Not always, anyway.  Don't judge me.

SO kabuki watched some family televsion recently, here's kabuki's humble opions:
  Mothra II -  fat japaneses children running, then cheap shit blows up
  Alcatraz - edgy poorly editted NBC pilot - like a cheap x-files
  Lost Girl - sci-fi girl-on-girl - like a cheap Dark Angel
Are we sensing a theme?  We are, and it is not pretty.  It is cheapness - and I blame the Kardashians. (The only time I shall mention those publicity whores.  bleah)  Kabuki is not fond of dirty, petty, shallow disgusting cheapness.  As if you did not know.  That is why kabuki requires a Tesla roadster.  Kabuki is ashamed to admit it, but kabuki has asked the Twitter community for a Tesla roadsterr because the blog community DID NOT STEP UP!!!  It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken, and I bet if Frank Perdue wanted an electric car somebody would get it for him.  Probably his accountant.   Which reminds me - which one of you guys is my accountant? 

Does kabuki have to keep track of everything?  There are only so many hours in a day, and sometimes kabuki likes to lay down for most of them.  The demands the universe has placed on kabuki are extrememly tiring, and one can only delegate so many things to the practically non-existent help.  Who am I kidding, they are completely non-existent.  Children have imiginary friends, kabuki has imiginary help!  And the whole lot of them are about to be laid off if kabuki doesn't see some major improvements around his flat. One day company is sure to arrive, and kabuki does not wish to open the door and hand them a mop.  It would be bad form. ill-mannered at best. 

And best not to hand my motley assortment of friends anything which can be used as a weapon.  Yes, reprobates and felons, the whole lot of them positively desire what scant few possesions kabuki has left.  Kabuki is afraid to tell them the diamonds have been sold off (so sad), for fear kabuki would wake up in a bathtub full of ice one kidney short.  They are a scurrilous lot, and if i had a dollar bill for every knife in my back - well you know.  But as a supreme being of light and love kabuki cannot turn away the heartless beasts that would otherwise pine away their lonely hours thinking up ways to do wrong and dastardly deeds.  So you see, it is really for you that kabuki toils.  Endlessly some would say (they would be wrong).  But right now kabuki is going to go eat some spaghetti and listen to the eurythmics. Don't ask me why.


  1. I could lend you my imaginary maid for a small fee...

  2. Mistress MJ regrets that she is baffled by math and must turn down the position of accountant.

    Besides, as First Lady to President kabuki, she will hardly have time for bean counting.

  3. Lovely sofa. Bad television. Fades, from BBC is good. Keeping weapons out of your friends' hands best idea of all.

  4. "...kabuki had learned how to play baccarat off the internet the night before."

    You are such a student of life.

  5. The world is going to hell in a handbasket. A cheap, plastic handbasket. Made in China, no doubt.

  6. Well hon, I'm glad we were in agreement that you wore something tasteful and chic, and something with pattern, because God knows the room needed it! And why you should have told me you needed help, I'll send over one of my houseboys and he drives a Tesla roadster, have fun!!!

  7. I understand... pasta & Annie Lennox make a fine pair. That was your point. right?