It you want my opinion (and you do)
SO kabuki watched some family televsion recently, here's kabuki's humble opions:
Mothra II - fat japaneses children running, then cheap shit blows up
Alcatraz - edgy poorly editted NBC pilot - like a cheap x-files
Lost Girl - sci-fi girl-on-girl - like a cheap Dark Angel
Are we sensing a theme? We are, and it is not pretty. It is cheapness - and I blame the Kardashians. (The only time I shall mention those publicity whores. bleah) Kabuki is not fond of dirty, petty, shallow disgusting cheapness. As if you did not know. That is why kabuki requires a Tesla roadster. Kabuki is ashamed to admit it, but kabuki has asked the Twitter community for a Tesla roadsterr because the blog community DID NOT STEP UP!!! It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken, and I bet if Frank Perdue wanted an electric car somebody would get it for him. Probably his accountant. Which reminds me - which one of you guys is my accountant?
Does kabuki have to keep track of everything? There are only so many hours in a day, and sometimes kabuki likes to lay down for most of them. The demands the universe has placed on kabuki are extrememly tiring, and one can only delegate so many things to the practically non-existent help. Who am I kidding, they are completely non-existent. Children have imiginary friends, kabuki has imiginary help! And the whole lot of them are about to be laid off if kabuki doesn't see some major improvements around his flat. One day company is sure to arrive, and kabuki does not wish to open the door and hand them a mop. It would be bad form. ill-mannered at best.
And best not to hand my motley assortment of friends anything which can be used as a weapon. Yes, reprobates and felons, the whole lot of them positively desire what scant few possesions kabuki has left. Kabuki is afraid to tell them the diamonds have been sold off (so sad), for fear kabuki would wake up in a bathtub full of ice one kidney short. They are a scurrilous lot, and if i had a dollar bill for every knife in my back - well you know. But as a supreme being of light and love kabuki cannot turn away the heartless beasts that would otherwise pine away their lonely hours thinking up ways to do wrong and dastardly deeds. So you see, it is really for you that kabuki toils. Endlessly some would say (they would be wrong). But right now kabuki is going to go eat some spaghetti and listen to the eurythmics. Don't ask me why.