Thursday

A little kabuki dreamscape for you

kabuki has dreams y'know.  And they can be ridiculous.  kabuki knows this shocks the seasoned kabuki reader, but deal with it sister.  kabuki seldom strays from the path of normalacy and commonplace middle-class white bread & mayonnaise lifestyle that is so desired by those horrible people on the television, but the little satan child occasionally fills kabukis' head with visions and scenarios that might be true.  kabuki doesn't judge - except for a fee.  (have you priced a 2012 porshe carrera s?  kabuki has)  Anyways, what if kabuki is really quite psychic?  What if these brief glimpses are some type of remote viewing?  kabuki feels duty-bound to the loyal reader.  Let history judge me (it wouldn't dare).  Let's light this candle:

Is there any truth to the notion that MJ our infomaniac goddess is shopping a canadian wonder woman mini-series to the telly people in New Zealand?  Connie Canuck - wine maker by day - super heroine by night.  It must not that get that could up North, because the costume is scandalous.  kabuki looks forward to many late night viewings of this adult-themed television event.

Could it be that screen writers are pestering our Mr. Peenee for bio-pic rights?  Rumor suggests his backyard is a hot spot for writers and producers alike.  Appearing frequently at hot spots and trouble spots - he always arrives in a snow white jaguar.  Has he really been throwing cupcakes off his second story catwalk at passersby?  (I hear the icing takes of vicodin - how divine)  We know he recently turned down a six figure salary to let his cat Sciatica (real name) work with Interpol.  The cat has its own phone.  It is a satellite phone, and the halls of interpol echo with the sounds "Get me the CAT SAT STAT", when ever the director is perplexed.  Oddly comforting, no?

Thombeau, Thombeau, Thombeau - where to begin.  Every time the Queen Mum gets a new hat a tiny replica is forwarded to our talented Mr. Thombeau.  More than one international incident has been prevented by a quick call to the castle across the pond (ditch the lavender mess immediately!)  He asks for nothing in return, although a knighthood is certain.  It is suggested he has the only Mini Cooper in existence that can run on gin, a gift from a thankful Queen.  We know his latest work with Bulgari is both exquisite and expensive.  That is just how he rolls. 

Felix has taken Hollywood by storm.  That is because he can control the weather, but only a little.  Not so much a super power, but he can make it humid enough to completely fuck up your hair.  Felix is not bothered by humidity, his whole family is immune.  His mother was a famous high-wire performer, and many nights Felix can be found atop the HOLLYWOOD sign (he favors the 'y' letter - no one knows why)  A hollywood legend in his own right - there are hush hush meetings at his hollywood bungalow every 3rd tuesday.  There is a secret room in his home, kabuki has seen it.  Up close - when that jealous bitch tried to lock me away.  Fortunately for all - Felix keeps his own home made preserves there, so no harm no foul.

These are but a few of kabukis' visions.  Stay tuned as kabuki prepares to open the floodgates and let the information permeate the atmosphere.  Kabukileaks - no one second thought - kabuki doesn't like the sound of that at all.  kabuki shall return when he has coined a catchy tag line.  Adieu

7 comments:

  1. Insights like these are not cheap. They just appear to be so.

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  2. Peenee has cheapened the visions by appearing in them. We all know that his cat is the REAL star.

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  3. oh Kabuki... I cannot wait for more beans to be spilt...

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  4. Would you like cherry, strawberry or boysenberry?

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  5. yES IT APPEARS THE TRUTH MAY TRY AND CHEAPEN US ALL. GOD SPEED DEAR READERS, GOD SPEED,

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  6. Oh, l'amour, l'amour...I'm also a Countess, by the way.

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  7. I'm on pins and needles (or is it needles and pins) to read what Kabuki has in store for me.

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