Thursday

In Xanadu did kabuki a pleasure dome erect

The cave of golden mysteries is well on its way to becoming the master bedroom of serene bliss.  if wild debauchery is desired - well there is always the front patio for that.  'caveat emptor' kabuki tells all prospective neighbors.  yes dear readers, kabuki occasionally speaks to the common man, frequently to remind them to stay the fuck off kabuki's lawn.  Is it still a lawn if it consists of rocks and sand?  methinks as much.  In the year the mansion was vacant several unscrupulous neighbors used the front yard as a shortcut to the dumpster.  It is now the shortcut to a tongue lashing by yours truly.  A rather unattractive man, with his wife and child was peering around the side of kabuki's house.  They - the three mouseketeers - were in for a rude awakening when kabuki stepped onto the front porch and loudly inquired 'May I help you with something?'  They fled like the illegal aliens they probably were (norwegian - kabuki is almost sure of it)

A master carpenter has been assisting kabuki with the renovation work in the master bedroom.  Kabuki was in for a small surprise when kabuki discovered that the window, which had been sheet-rocked over, was not nailed to the house.  'Just set it in place' the crazy ex-owner must have said, 'I am sure it will be fine'.  Which kabuki finds out of character because everything else in this place is screwed, nailed, and glued.  As if kabuki sat on exactly the fault line .  Which kabuki does not.  The fault line is two or three feet to the right of kabuki's house, to be sure.

Kabuki's neighbor lady has kindly offered kabuki 10 gallons of exterior house paint.  The shade is called dark peach.  She said kabuki could use it as interior primer, but kabuki thinks it would be better used to paint all of the palm trees in the neighbors yards.  Because kabuki has a plan to get all liquored up and walk through every front yard in the community.  As a sort of payback.  When people complain kabuki shall bow, exit gracefully, and return in the still of the night to paint their trees dark peach.  Kabuki has found no law against such behaviour.  Kabuki may just be on the cutting edge of horticultural painting.  And we all know what they say about whores and culture.

5 comments:

  1. What they say about whores and culture is the same thing they say about kabuki and brilliance: what, really, is one without the other?!?!

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  2. Miss Janey is looking forward to Make Over pics!

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  3. What kind of mirrored tiles is Kabuki putting on the ceiling? Plain or gold veined?

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  4. The darker the peach, the sweeter the pit. Or something like that.

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  5. Will Ty Pennington be taking his shirt off?

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