Friday

Is it time to dance yet?

It is 106 degrees outside.  Kabuki is wearing kneehigh socks, sweatpants, a tshirt, a long sleeved tshirt, and workgloves.  Kabuki is crawling under his doublewide mansion, flashlight in one hand - new electrical wiring in the other.  Crawling commando style, in the hot dusty nether regions of his home.  Kabuki dares a spider, scorpion or other insectoid to try and bite kabuki.  The insect will explode, because kabuki is in no mood.  While renovating the golden cave of mexican delights (aka master bedroom) kabuki has run into electrical issues. Next time kabuki lets someone talk him into using the local retirees to save a few dollars - you have permission to bitch slap kabuki.  Notice the lovely shade of rivermist blue kabuki  has selected for the master bedroom.  A lovely cobalt blue has been selected for an accent wall.  Kabuki thinks an accent wall will add that continental flavor kabuki desires.  Plus it was on the clearance shelf for $7.00.  Trust kabuki when he tells you the rivermist blue was not $7.00, and multiple gallons were required for the new sheetrock.  Watch kabuki toss words like electrical wiring, sheetrock and workgloves about.  It gives one chills.  This is no way for the prettiest ballerina in the world to spend an afternoon.  Kabuki would so much rather be sipping frozen magaritas and discussing where to get a nice manicure in Palm Springs.  Alas and alack.
While experiencing my very own electrical issues there were several power outages citywide in lovely Palm Springs.  Kabuki was asked by the property manager if kabuki was responsible for same.  Kabuki replied that when he knocks the power out it will stay out, and manical laughter will echo in the valley.  Did kabuki mention that kabuki lives in a valley?  If only kabuki could get his hands on a suede pantsuit kimono  - Barbara Stanwyck would spin in her grave.  Now that is entertainment folks.  Speaking of graves (excellent transition) the power dificulties managed to bring kabuki's desktop pc to its very own endtimes.  Kabuki imagines it is in pc heaven with MJ and Thombeau's pc's.  Does anyone else smell conspiracy?  Why is it always the talented who suffer.  Kabuki bets Paris Hiltons' pc is fine.  Probably like new, since she has no idea what it is.  After kabuki recovers from the abrupt hardware failure he plans to toss his surge protector into the duck pond.  The pc may or may not still be attached.  Like the rebuilding of the great barrier reef in australia, kabuki gives back to the planet.  Even though kabuki has been wronged as of late, it is still all light and joy in kabuki's heart.  Kabuki remains a giver. 
Did kabuki mention electrical difficulties?  Is anyone taking notes? Refer back if you need to.  It would seem that when the circuit breakers are tripped in kabuki's house, the ground wire then becomes hot.  Since kabuki's house has some metal breaker boxes and is covered in aluminium siding this leads to some sparky-sparky issues.  Kabuki has been removing the offending metal boxes and throwing them in the trash.  There are approx. 20 outside outlets at kabuki's residence.  Kabuki likes to share, but not his electricity, so he has been correcting the over abundance of outlets.  Maybe they were on sale at Home Depot, kabuki cannot really say.  All kabuki can say is if the whole place burns to the ground prior to kabuki's fixing everything - kabuki is going to come and live with one of you. 

8 comments:

  1. Mistress MJ is placing a chocolate under the guest room pillow as we speak.

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  2. Princess is astonished! Who knew that such electrical butchness existed beneath the Kimono of Kabuki?

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  3. may we have a kiki in the blue room?

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  4. I'd love to have you over, but I'd hate to deprive you of such a lovely blue room. Be strong.

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  5. Just remember that Claudine Longet once sang "Love is Blue", and she knew.

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    Replies
    1. Why, just ask Spider Sabich! Oh, wait...

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  6. Blue? I would have thought Kabuki would have gone with Khaki.

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