the stale aftertaste of a life half lived

I found this lovely artwork whilst perusing the internet.  Kabuki peruses frequently when attempting to stave off a minor/major depression.  While not usually successfull, it can still be enlightening.  This particular piece speaks to kabuki, the more kabuki looks - the more kabuki sees.  This is sooo not true in other areas of kabuki's half-lived life.  The eight years lost inside my illness will haunt kabuki forever.  Was that the time kabuki was supposed to learn how to manage finances?  Did my beloved come & go while kabuki lay in a percocet twilight?  Having accomplished so very much, what else might have been?  It is a 'road not chosen' reflection, even thought that road was not available.  Is kabuki crying over milk that not was not spilt, because the cow did not exist?  Such existenstial wonderings may well whisper 'nut case'.  More likely it means kabuki is broke, lonely, bored, hungry and lost.  It also usually foretells of the coming full moon.  And unfortunately for so manyof you, curious readers, it also brings out kabuki's keen desire to leave a legacy.  A mark, a stain, a google, maybe even a scandalous wikipedia entry.  The combination of angst and flight propels kabuki to jump off the roof, but only if kabuki can land in a pond of pistachio pudding.  If kabuki does not replace his lost make-up and assorted photo props soon, kabuki would like several people to slap him.  Form a line, we will raffle off the tickets.  MeaNwhiLe - where is the sad clown we so love to admire - nay, adore even.  Oh, he is lurking in the shadows, singing sad songs and trying to discover the next frozen drink trend.  Sail on into the night dear kabuki, because if all else fails you have enough love trapped inside to sustain you throught lifes' solitary back alleys.  I think.

Skylark, have you anything to say to me?

Behold the madness that is Sunny.  She needs to work on her pattern matching, but really, when you look like her you can get away with anything.  Kabuki was chatting her up, let us recap.  'So Sunny, you know everything, and you are always right.  Does that about sum it up?' kabuki prodded gently.  (Sunny is not an easy talker.) 'Squawk' Sunny replies.  'Well, dearest sunn-bunn, let kabuki school your feathered self. ' and kabuki goes on 'Do you want to be right or happy?  No, let me finish.  For a long time kabuki felt they were mutually exclusive.  But having an epiphany or two (as is my due, remember my early childhood amnesia) kabuki has realized the answer was within kabuki all along. And dearest one, let kabuki enlighten you (wearing a kimono allows one to use words like "enlighten" in everyday conversation.) JUST KEEP IT TO YOURSELF!!!!  Be as fucking empirically correct as is your want, just don't be a dick about it. (sorry the "d" word is absolutely required at this point in the dialogue)  And viola, you still have people who will speak to you while secretly maintaining your mental superiority.'  (ps  world's worst kept secret)  end act one

Nowadays everyone is looking for a hero.  Dammit people - be the hero!.  Kabuki has been a hero like forever.  These days kabuki has elevated himself to SUPERHERO.  My super power = inevitability.  The world will soon realize kabuki has been right all along.  And one day people will recognize that kabuki will win in the end.  As befits a kabuki'ed superhero who is always right.  (oops)  Kabuki was venting just a little.  end act two

Having reconciled to a life of superhero celibacy, kabuki still wonders if his sidekick ran off with his evil nemesis.  Kabuki has no idea, but the heart strings are still occasionally plucked.  Kabuki feels this adds a dark sadness to kabuki's psyche - which most superheros need.  Like cloves of garlic in a roast leg of lamb.  (although the mint jelly is totally superflous, trust)  Kabuki would trade dark sadnesses with someone. probably.  Anybody got a mean hangnail willing to trade for solitary existence?  Perhaps a lactose intolerance, kabuki will work with you.  The quiet solitude might bring out the artist in you.  (kabuki is an artiste - don't be jealous)  Oh well, kabuki shall just be satisfied with superhero powers, keen wit and devastating good looks.  (kabuki did not mention his fine singing voice - it makes Felix of Hollywood cross)  bon chance mon petit singes end act three 

Because you and me could have been a work of art

So kabuki is washing the dishes (because the dishwasher is not yet  installed) when out the kitchen window kabuki spies a crane sauntering across kabuki's very own front porch.  Kabuki dashed out to photograph the delightful creature, who was not disturbed by kabuki at all.  (which rarely happens, as kabuki can be rather disturbing).  Rather, the dear bird waited until kabuki went back inside and then retraced his path back into the duck pond.  Crikey - kabuki was as excited as a thirteen year old girl with a new bratz doll.  When kabuki mentioned this wonderment to his super secret straight boyfriend - he just said 'It is an egret.  It lives in the pond'.  What a turd - sucking the joy out of everything.  Kabuki pictured him with a rash, and kabuki felt better.  As is my god-given right. 

Now, back to my original reason for this blog.  Firsties - my desktop has been revived (JOY).  Second - As kabuki was watching the olympics (don't start) kabuki saw a commercial for that new Bourne Compendium movie (might have got the name wrong)  Premise is that man cannot remember his past, which apparently included training in everything.  (except tact)  So when trouble arises - as it do - man can solve problems with knowledge that he did not know he knew.  (whatever)  Also the government is trying to kill him.  (BFD) Like the government is not trying to kill all of us.  People - if you do not attend the secret meetings, well kabuki really can't discuss it.  Just like the plot of kabuki's favorite 60s summer replacement show "Coronet Blue".  Anywho, upon reflection kabuki realises that my very early childhood is a blank.  Egads, was the baby kabuki a government agent?  A kimono clad baby assasian?  Seems unlikely, but let us remember that we may have as our next president a man who tied a dog carrier (avec dog) onto the roof of his car and drove to his vacation.  Kabuki is relatively sure the doggie did not enjoy the vacation AT ALL.  So back to kabuki, how is kabuki supposed to showcase the new Olympic Mens' Rythmic Gymnastic event?  And if you can just picture a ribbon-twirling kimono-wearing split-leap jumping kabuki, well then you know it is time for the Olympics to 'man-up'.  Kabuki briefly considered mens syncronized swimming, but these kimonos weigh a ton when wet.  And a a shock to most, kabuki will admit that kabuki is best kept dry.  Like gunpowder.  Draw your own conclusions people, for now kabuki must go and bury his old desktop power supply in the desert.  Secrets, secrets, secrets.