La Vie en Kabuki

Spring arises and dances away, leaving behind beauty and renewal. Crap. My libido stirs. Damn, I thought I had driven in the last coffin nail. Lonliness gnaws at my soul like a rat trapped in a box. I reject the notion that there is someone for everyone. I see no proof of such a claim. Perhaps my mate is lost, somewhere in the sands of time. With a bit of a mind flip - we are into the time slip - and nothing - will ever be the same. (life lessons from The Rocky Horror Show) Twenty-five years of solitary existence is more than enough to numb the soul. And please - dear reader - do not respond with your own years of difficulties. This is not a contest, and I would like to selfishly dwell on myself (for the moment). I often wonder why I continue what seems a meaningless existence. My huge ego keeps me safe from harm, I am thankful for that. Although many have experienced similar highs and lows, no one has my unique life story. As only you have yours. Having bent reality to my will - if only briefly - I can tell you that having everything you desire is not quite as rewarding as it should be. (Although it ain't half bad.) As I continue to do battle with the universe I recognize that my approach may be wrong. Perhaps more of a 'go with the flow', zen-like approach is in order. Fuck that, seems like everytime I lay down I get run over. I must strive for what I want - it is part and parcel who I am. There may never be a kabuki one, but there is a kabuki zero. And don't you forget it.




and with all the changes you've been thru

it seems the stranger's always you

alone again in some new wicked little town

hedwig