Wednesday

Hats off to our hapless heroine

Recently I was in Ibiza with Hedy Lamarr and Natasha Bedingfield. Actually, Natasha was late (again), so we carried on without her. It's really all about manners, isn't it? an example: A young lady with a stroller almost ran me off the sidewalk. "you are stupid, and your monkey is ugly" I said to her. "It's a baby" the young lady shrieked. "Forgive me. You are stupid and your baby monkey is ugly" I corrected. See. Manners. This shows that kabuki cares. Deeply. So anyway, Hedy was wanting to dance, she is a techno-music maniac (who knew?), and kabuki was searching for hats. Hats, hats, hats. I've got a bee in my bonnet for hats. I will not buy and wear a hat in the same country. More than once poor kabuki has had to suffer the humiliation of seeing an intoxicated starlet fall out of a nightclub wearing the same 'one-of-a-kind' hat that kabuki is wearing. The cold tears of shame rolled down my face later as I had the hat designer dipped in cough syrup and thrown in to a rave party. So I was in Ibiza tryin' to get my hat on. Hedy will wear a hat or two, she just can't be bothered to shop for them, so I was shopping for two. As Hedy and I stepped off the curb a pink Aston Martin came careening around the corner damn near killing us both. "Curse you Mary Kay, your signature scent should be macaroni & cheese", I shouted at the car. I can't stand her or her mascara, just between us. Do you think I use too many commas in my dialogues? I worry myself sick about it. My stream-of-conscience writing style isn't for every one. Anyway, I found this cute little black hat with netting and diamonds, a hat if ever there was one. Picked up a little something for Lamarr as well. Then it was off to a nite spot to dance our cares away. I think I saw Anderson Cooper and Rihanna dancing on a big cube, surrounded by syncophants. Our cue to leave. Yet one more reason kabuki never schedules anything, kabuki just appears. Like a dream. Do you dance in your dreams? I do. Try Patti Labelle's
'Megusta tu baile'. Check it out. Its marvelous. And so are you.  Have I mentioned the unbelievable efforts required to acces the webternet?  Of course not, I dealwith pain in my own quiet way.  If I were to bring it up- I wouldlet on that it is an incredible pain in the ass.  I hope to soon remedy the situation, even if I have to turn my bed into a wifi hotspot!  stay tuned, and cross your fingers for kabuki-tv.  Hoping to bring your real-time deliciousness- in a taped format, of course.  love to you

9 comments:

  1. Shall I send you a tuque from Canada? I’m quite certain you’ll be the only one wearing such a hat in your part of the country.

    I don’t have a problem with your comma abuse at all.

    But there should be a space between the words “would” and “let” … unless you’ve just invented a word there. “Wouldlet”. Like a small grove of trees. Or a copse, perhaps? No, not a corpse…a copse.

    kabuki-tv?

    You turn me on. I’m a radio.

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  2. I see that your comment box disapproves of quotation marks.

    Yet it's fine with your commas.

    It doesn't like my ellipses either, apparently. Although we all know I overuse THOSE so perhaps your comment box is trying to tell me something.

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  3. I also overuse exclamation points!!!

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  4. A streaming website of Little Miss Cooper performing unspeakable acts on your hats. Unless it's already been done.

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  5. all i could ever find on ibiza was gloves.

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  6. That Hedy has always been a madcap, inventing, dancing, acting, shoplifting! But then so are you.

    Fear not, as I remain,

    The Comma Queen.

    ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

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  7. A TUQUE? Does it involve cheese curd? I absolutely won't wear cheese curd. Or gravy. Ever try and get gravy out of a kabuki wig? Of course you have.

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  8. I've tried getting custard out of a kabuki wig which is basically the same thing.

    You make me feel like dancin'
    (I wanna dance the night away)

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  9. I've got the Ibiza itch something rotten, I'm surprised you can't hear me scratching it over the French horns.

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