Thursday

I should really stay in more

I was out in the front yard, stripped to my shorts, washing out an old upright freezer.  I had discarded it only to have my downstairs relations decide it must be theirs.  It was 100 degrees and kabuki was sweating like a whore in church. (i never understood that reference).  It was such a disgusting event that when kabuki finished the cleaning the shorts worn for the event went into the trash.  kabuki went into the shower, and tried the AXE body wash someone had given to us.  It was 'glacier mint'.  Imagine washing your body with crest toothpaste, it was quite similar.  stimulating and not in a good way.  kabuki was surprised the bath poof did not melt. kabukii will save the rest of the AXE body wash for when kabuki needs to wash off nuclear waste.  it could happen. 
kabuki was recently discussing houseboats with Felix.  kabuki has a fascination with houseboats.  Felix mentioned the H word might present problems.  I realize now he meant hoarding (which kabuki does NOT DO).  At the timethough, kabuki was perplexed.  The H word - kabuki pondered.  Handsome?  Is kabuki too handsome to live on a houseboat?  What kind of stupid law is that?  It's not like kabuki would select minnesota (land o' lakes), and that would be the only water bound state retarded enough to put that law on the books.  Did Felix mean Hermaphrodites?  What is their interest in houseboats.  They are water creatures, naturally drawn to the pure and calming nature of the wet stuff.  But they don't need houseboats.  They are aquatic, like mermaids.  (most people do not know these things)  Finally kabuki decided the Felix meant hutzspah - which Felix has in spades.  Dashing yet another one of kabukis' dreams.  Some people just cannot handle joy in others.  It makes them crazy.  And yet - my joy continues.  So there, crazy people.  kabuki must remain joyous.  like a flock of angels woould be.  if angels come in a flock. kabuki doesn't know.  cuz there's never a bunch of angels around when you need them.  they could have been very handy when i was scrubbing that freezer down.  they could have held the hose for kabuki. or something.

6 comments:

  1. Miss J has just seen one of those hose-holding angels...

    http://www.backyardstyle.com/shop/shop_image/product/4a562d245df57ca994dfd940d46ea2c0.jpg

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  2. felix - you are a joyful mess. kabuki only hoards love, which is not really hoarding at all, since kabuki shares love so willingly. cretin

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  3. miss janey is as tasteful as she is helpful. many thanks

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  4. *hands kabuki a popsicle*

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  5. Felix is such a silly. Of course you can hoard perfectly well on a houseboat. You just have to hoard tiny little things. Imagine the thrill of coming home to a boatful of matches. Or barbie doll shoes.

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