In Xanadu did Kubla Kahn a Pleasure Dome erect!

However. kabuki suspects good ole Kubla was a bit more flush than kabuki.  Kabuki wanders into Walmart, Lowe's, Costco (kabuki is still boycotting Home Despot) and loudly inquires "Can someone point me towards the diseased and dying everything's a dollar aisle?"  Collecting my misfit and mistreated childrens kabuki races home.  After careful placement (i set down the plant, and then run across the street to big picture the garden) kabuki then waits a day or two to weed out the weak plants, and finally kabuki will plant the survivors.  Give kabuki a $1.25 lavender bush, and kabuki will show you some plant moxie.  The front garden has the rubber mulch, which kabuki finds oddly creepy.  The garden up against the front facade is festooned with crushed white marble.  Kabuki is guessing from the Acropolis, but really it could be from any extremely famous ancient building.  The stuff costs like $4.00 a bag at Wal-Mart, so you know it positively reeks of history and ancient civilizations.  The rubber mulch just looks like old tires to kabuki.  But kabuki does not stand in the way of progress, and this stuff is supposed to last.  Kabuki does not wish to be out in the desert heat in late August topping off the mulch.  Kabuki wants to be leaning on a white ferrari convertible sipping expensive champagne somewhere like Monte Carlo.  Nice, France in a pinch, but August is not so pretty in Nice in August methinks.  Perhaps Baden-Baden, or where they make those swell Mont Blanc pens in Switzerland.  Remember kabuki is quite flexible, so feel free to include kabuki in any and all upper-eschelon travel plans.  Imagine the thrill and pride you feel as people behind you stage whisper "who the hell is that nut job in the kimono?"  You can turn and state "that NUT JOB is Kabuki Zero you unwashed eurotrash semi-royalty!"  Think back, when was the last time you were branded 'persona non grata' in europe.  This fall you will be the darling of the dinner party circuit, in your Dolce & Gabbana white dinner jacket, regaling one and all with your adventures.  "Tell us again how kabuki got you banned in Luxembourg, oh please tell us.  Can you really never step foot in Iceland again?  How fabulous."  After all kabuki is a giver from way back, and if you're paying (and you will be picking up the check) it is the very least kabuki can do to make sure you enjoy kabuki's company.  And why wouldn't you?  Kabuki is a perfectly agreeable person, and many feel kabuki is also 'easy on the eyeballs' so where is the down side.  Please submit travel ideas early, as there will obviously be more than one offer headed my way.  And until then kabuki shall try not to bump his head on the pool wall anymore. 


  1. i think you should name the new homestead
    Rubber Mulch

    have an artisan hand paint a glorious script
    right under that window.

  2. You have a pool wall? How terribly terribly.

  3. "nut job in a kimono" made me laugh out loud.