PEOPLE OF EARTH! THIS IS THE BLOG OF KABUKI ZERO! DO NOT BE AFRAID! Or be just a little afraid, because you know the truth is coming at you. No photo this entry, and I humbly apologize. Been an off week, but who cares about me? I am here to talk about YOU, the most important person in the chair you are now sitting in. If standing - please sit down, it is impolite to read standing up. Were you raised in a bar? Now - on to business. Warm weather is upon us, and that means many of you will dash off towards the local waterhole. Before you go - a quick word. We are all adults, we have all experienced the joys of youngness. It is now time to behave like civilized North American Adults. Men - that means two words => BOARD SHORTS. Unless you are in a competitive diving event sponsored by your College - put that speedo in the trash. Act like the man I know you can pretend to be. Nude beaches are perfectly acceptable, board shorts are perfectly acceptable, speedos are not allowed. Do not make me embarass you in public. If I see you in public in a speedo - you had damn well better be sporting a french passport - OR IT IS ON! I know I seen quite peaceful and loving, but there is another side to kabuki. And yes, that is also my good side. The cameras just love me.
Now Ladies, unlessyou need to show off your new heiney tattoo (and please don't bother), there is no reason to rock a thong. You want to wear a bikini - it better be in St. Tropez. While on the continent please restrict yourself to a lovely two-piece with a coverup for when you are not swimming/basking. A one piece would be refreshing unless you are Beyonce, cuz that fool needs to cover it up. Is no one aware of the sin of overexposure? I know Britney, Paris & Lindsay like to flash the cooch - but are they really the role models you would choose. Sophia Loren never shot a beaver, and she is doing just fine - thank you very much. I hate to bring you people down - but every summer becomes more like an outdoor shooting of 'Jerry Springer' and I know you didn't all grow up in back-water mobile home parks. Is it not time for a safer, gentler summer? Do we need daisy-dukes, camel-toes, banana-hammocks to express our individual beauty? Kabuki says no, and hopes you do as well. Your joy at regaining your humanity is all the thanks I require. Although 10s and 20s go along way as well. I am redecorating y'know. And kabuki on a budget is a sad, sad thing to see. So until next time, keep the love alive - and have a little fun. tata