Monday

killing me softly with his thong

PEOPLE OF EARTH!  THIS IS THE BLOG OF KABUKI ZERO!  DO NOT BE AFRAID!  Or be just a little afraid, because you know the truth is coming at you.  No photo this entry, and I humbly apologize.  Been an off week, but who cares about me?  I am here to talk about YOU, the most important person in the chair you are now sitting in.  If standing - please sit down, it is impolite to read standing up.  Were you raised in a bar?  Now - on to business.  Warm weather is upon us, and that means many of you will dash off towards the local waterhole.  Before you go - a quick word.  We are all adults, we have all experienced the joys of youngness.  It is now time to behave like civilized North American Adults.  Men - that means two words => BOARD SHORTS.  Unless you are in a competitive diving event sponsored by your College - put that speedo in the trash.   Act like the man I know you can pretend to be.  Nude beaches are perfectly acceptable, board shorts are perfectly acceptable, speedos are not allowed.  Do not make me embarass you in public.  If I see you in public in a speedo - you had damn well better be sporting a french passport - OR IT IS ON!  I know I seen quite peaceful and loving, but there is another side to kabuki.  And yes, that is also my good side.  The cameras just love me. 
Now Ladies, unlessyou need to show off your new heiney tattoo (and please don't bother), there is no reason to rock a thong.  You want to wear a bikini - it better be in St. Tropez.  While on the continent please restrict yourself to a lovely two-piece with a coverup for when you are not swimming/basking.  A one piece would be refreshing unless you are Beyonce,  cuz that fool needs to cover it up.  Is no one aware of the sin of overexposure?  I know Britney, Paris & Lindsay like to flash the cooch - but are they really the role models you would choose.  Sophia Loren never shot a beaver, and she is doing just fine - thank you very much.  I hate to bring you people down - but every summer becomes more like an outdoor shooting of 'Jerry Springer' and I know you didn't all grow up in back-water mobile home parks.   Is it not time for a safer, gentler summer?  Do we need daisy-dukes, camel-toes, banana-hammocks to express our individual beauty?  Kabuki says no, and hopes you do as well.  Your joy at regaining your humanity  is all the thanks I require.  Although 10s and 20s go along way as well.  I am redecorating y'know.  And kabuki on a budget is a sad, sad thing to see. So until next time, keep the love alive - and have a little fun.  tata    

10 comments:

  1. For the record I only wear my thong in the privacy of my own beautiful backyard, swimming pool and occasionally on Infomaniac.

    It makes for a beautiful tan line. I live in Florida.

    Board shorts? Board shorts are for children. Besides they make an absolutely horrible tan line. Who wants a tan from the waist up and the knees down? It’s ugly and I toss it out of my bed. It’s all about a sexy tan line under the covers.

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  2. For the record how many times did I say in PUBLIC. Please know I was not speaking about you. I was unaware you were displayed in a thong on MJs. Please notice I did not mention thong (except in the title). I specifically said speedo. Try to remain calm, its not really all about you, and what you do and do not toss out of your bed. Really

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  3. *Puts thong back on and minces down Main Street*

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  4. *carefully and lovingly folds daisy-dukes and replaces them in the bottom drawer*

    Damn!

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  5. I have been under the mistaken impression all along that Ayem8y's thong was a butt bra.

    Which photo of Ayem8y are we discussing anyway?

    The photo of his ass or the photo of his "Little Pirate"?

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  6. And just for the record, this is your most controversial post EVER.

    I’ve had to take a pill to steady my nerves.

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  7. No g-strings in the supermarket?

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  8. it's a kooky kaftan for me. when i choose the fabric, my only question is, "does it come railroaded?"

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  9. I never expose my lily white pulchritude. I am a Lady.

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  10. For the record - I blogged because I liked the title - and just seen a piece on the telly about beach etiquette. Ayem8y was never mentioned - and neither his front or his backside warrant a mention in thisb log. Let us now put our silliness to rest. This is The Man Who Told the World - not the man who mentions mundane meat photos. rock on

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