Don't believe it here!

I would like to thank the Doctor who said "this is gonna make you gain just a little weight".  I see her next week.  I plan to hold her down an administer a full body fudge massage.  I know it can be absorbed thru the skin.  I look like the bad guy in a Disney film.  The man who kicks puppies - or something just as evil.  I am actually a sweetheart.  Just ask around.  Now, on to people who bug me. 1. John Walsh  2. Pat Robertson  3.  Jon & Kate 4. Jay Leno 5. Glen Beck   6.  Mel Gibson  7 Octo-mom Unfortunately my list goes on and on.  Can we all say "Crazy white crackers who deserve media blackouts".  There, I feel better. 
Going over decorating plans in my head  for my new apartment.  The large great room will serve both as living and dining areas - as in the more popular homes of the tasteful & stylish.  I thought Retro southwestern for the living room (no pastels) with a japanese black-laquer and silk dining space to spin the visitor right 'round.  Master bedroom will feature early 60's blond wood (tv back chairs, 3-corner table etc)  with fabrics in blues, violets and gold.  Guest room is uncertain, but since I'm using what I have - red oak headboard & nitestand with similar red wood desk and a southwestern loveseat to tie back into the great room.  Kitchen will start with chrome and tempered glass - but I am sure that will not last.  Country french?  maybe.  The bath is fresh with white subway tiles and white marble floor, the existing white fixtures shall serve me fine.  Leaning towards stained glass hung in front of bath window, privacy and jeweltones to spare.  I shall bid farewell to many pieces I have been holding on to, but I don't plan to go larger than 2 bedrooms at any time in the near future.  If more than one person stays over - well someone will get to wake up with the birds.  At sunrise.  When Max starts talking smack.  He is my african grey, and he came crazy so do not blame me.  The stay with relatives this winter has not helped his vocabulary at all (or mine).  He now burbs.coughs, sneezes, farts, meows, barks, tells the other animals to shut-up, and babbles on and on.  If only he had picked up my flair for brevity. Alas.  If anyone wants to contribute to my face-liposuction fund please send precious gems.  They cash out easily, and can be secreted away with costume jewelery.  I am sure Felix will lend me some of his costume jewels, he can't possibly wear them all and still ambulate.  Until anon - you are in my heart, don't try and get in my pants


  1. No one looks good photographed from below.

    You're just feeling self-conscious because you're comparing yourself to Felix 28-inch-waist Stick Boy.

    I've been meaning to tell you that you have a very attractive philtrum.

  2. Darling how and where does one find retro southwestern WITHOUT pastels? Very excited about your interim living space.

    MJ - A friendly and constructive alert: you've become obsessed with my waistline; it's unhealthy.

  3. Felix - Obviously you are jealous of my attentions to kabuki's alluring philtrum.

  4. MJ - you should see my tantrum
    Felix - I am glad you finally admit your waitline is unhealthy. Stop yakking on the carpet and blaming the cat. And lay off the anchovies - it's like kissing a seal. who smokes

  5. Nothing like some redecorating to take one's mind off one's temporary weight gain. That and being tagged with a meme...