Kabuki has an appointment tomorrow morning with yet another member of the medical profession.  The medical community is fascinated with many parts of Kabuki's body - both inside and out.  You think they would go out and cure some disgusting disease.  Or perhaps treat some sick people.  Not a chance.  Instead I have to wake up at a time of the day that is usually reserved for bakers and fish mongers.  "your appoint is at 8am, please be here a half-hour early" Nurse Susan instructed me.  I'm not even sure that's her real name.  If I have to be there at 7:30 for an 8:00 appointment - that really means I have a 7:30 appointment.  The Doctor is not going to see me at 8am - no matter what time I get there.  He is probably still getting dressed at 8am.  Hasn't even had his coffee.  I am already starting to dislike him.  In the countryside it is much easier to mess with them.  "Is that your red porsche carrera in the parking lot?" I asked my dentist.  "Yes, how did you - why?"  "I parked right next to it.  It's pretty.  Is this gonna hurt?"  Best dental visit I've had in years.  In small towns just pick the nicest car in the lot.  You can't swing a dead cat in Washington without hitting $60,000 worth of something, but in Winchester you might see 3 mercedes in a day.  All day.  It's like they were giving out Buicks. Beige Buicks.  Makes me a little queasy to think about it.  Anyway I have some sort of Diabetes Eye Exam scheduled.  My Doctor feels I am pre-diabetic.  I am also pre-pregnant, but I'm not going to the OB/GYN, am I?  I google the eye exam for diabetics, not much info to be had.  So I am going to assume that they give you a bunch of candy, then they look at your eyeballs.  I hope it is a lovely Godiva assortment.  I am not eating Andes mints at that hour.  They're like like chocolate chapsticks.  How revolting.  Anyway, I have two questions regarding tomorrow: 
1.   Should I have waffles for breakfast?
2.  Should I take off my pants, even if he doesn't ask?  I think we all know he will want to ask, but he may be shy.  I hope I figure it out before bedtime. 

Hope to see you soon - Kabuki


  1. He's already seen you with your pants off on the Internet.

    Hasn't everyone by now?

  2. Dinky Bird! Oh how I've missed it. I still remember seeing that print hanging in your room at Michael and Dennis' house in '77 the first time I visited it. I stared at it for what seemed like hours, fascinated, while you tried to explain to me (17 years old and fresh from the burbs) what 'Art Deco furniture was. I thought you were so much cooler than I could ever possibly be. I was right.

  3. Can you possibly think someone could see me naked and not want to again? Over and over and over, they try to find my best side. And as you know, they are all my best side. It's true what they say "Beauty is in the eye of the befuddled". kabuki

  4. I'm ready to receive your full frontal snapshot.