Now witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle avatar!
Back in the day, when kabuki dabbled in the affairs of man, kabuki was DUMPED on valentine's day. Bastard kept the candy too. One year of chasing, one year of dating, pissed away. It was the 90's and apparently it was appropriate to take someones heart and stomp that sucker flat. The culprit was ostracised from polite society, nicked 'The Ice Queen' and sent to live with savages. (philadelphia) I refer to it as 'the other valentine's day massacre'. But wait - does that mean kabuki has been loveless for almost 20 years? Damn skippy. kabuki has only loved a handful of times. There was the crazy man, the whore, the lying whore, and the military lying whore. A pattern seemed to be developing. An associate once asked 'Did you ever think that maybe you were too attractive?'. I replied 'Did you ever think you drink too much?' And although I know that sometimes Alcohol is the answer, it was not in his case. Nor mine. Neither were fine dining, fast cars, expensive jewelry, nice clothes, beautiful homes, travelling, volunteer work, bartending, ad nauseum. There just does not appear to be a substitue for love. My dearly departed mother told me her greatest fear was that I would grow old alone. Thanks for putting that in my head woman! As you may remember from earlier blog entries, kabuki does not fear. Pretty much ran out of fear. And no thanks, don't need any of yours. I'm good. (it is important to remind the readers that all blog entries should be read. this allows a timeline to be established) And yet I still manage to drag my ass out of bed, speak rudely to the nonexistent help and share my innermost thoughts with you - the stranger in the dark. Turn on a light, you'll ruin your eyes. Why do you have to be all creepy like that? eww. Now before you rush off to fix me up (we both know you want that honor), let us establish ground rules. This is especially important for the heterosexual women in the audience. (Single girls say 'hey'). kabuki favors a tallish, lumbering stack of beef. Why the ladies always say "I know the perfect guy, he's just like you" First - thanks for the insult, kabuki is unique. Second - if you put two similar kabuki-ish type superstars in the same room the results would be catastrophic. Think earthquake with volcanic aftertones. Sounds exciting - doesn't it. Well it is not. Stop wishing for evil and destruction. Go rent 'G.I. Joe' for heaven's sake. What I am trying to say here - if love was simple and easy its value would be lowered. It is a truly magical and wondrous thing. Do not take it lightly, don't assume it will tend itself. Spend time in the moment, deserve the love you receive. Because the ones who go without would gladly take your place. Now - where the hell is my box of Godiva? I am waiting. These blogs do not write themselves people. Don't make me embarass you in front of the children.