I have missed you, have you missed me? Where the fuck are the flowers? Suppose I had been ill - wouldn't you feel awful? No? You heartless heathen bastard! I am slightly unwell, tired, rundown, bloated, achy, itchy and scratchy. Talk about your seven dwarfs - ha! Even in the face of misfortune, I have just enough strength to see the funny.
My gal pal went to a rock concert where a drunk guy in a wheel chair picked a fight with somebody. Later he went crowd-surfing STILL IN HIS CHAIR. She has pictures. I think I speak for everyone when I say ' That is my kind of drunk, handicapped concert-goer. I think we could all learn a little from this man. If we only had the time. Sad. New favorite drag name - Dusty Nebula - saw it on the science channel. Porn Star - Rocky Outcropping. Favorite tv show - Valley Girl P.D. 'Hello Tiffany, this is Jennifer - over'. 'Tiffany, please respond - over'. 'This is HQ, Tiffany speaking - over'. 'Over Over Over - I am sooo over, Jennifer - over'. 'Tiffany, this is Jennifer - over'. 'I know that Jennifer, Tiffany - over'. A couple half-hours of that and television will be once again the stellar beacon of honesty and humor that we all so fondly remember. I require no thanks, you quiet adoartion is payment enough.
Now, try and finish the song I started for you "are you down with OCD". I was singing it to a very obsessive friend of mine, he pretended not to kow what OCD stood for. Yeah - maybe he's not the poster child, but he lives near him. A roommate of long ago could not tolerate the coffee table ashtray being askew. It had to square-up with the edges of the table. I felt that was a gift from heaven. Just a little nudge, and wait for the veins to pop-out on his neck. Living with others can be so entertaining. And such a joy for them. I don't know why I ever moved, all my roommates adored me. Still do, although is a quiet, introspective way. Doesn't matter - I can feel their love through the veil of their fake dislike. I mean really, who could dislike kabuki zero? I've known me the longest, and I worship myself. Just to save others the work. As a caring giver, what could I do. That is why I so often solicit gifts, presents, cash, jewelry, cars. You are provided the opportunity to 'give-back', as it were. And I do it all for love. No, I do it all for you. Of course, to me you are love. In a stay-over-there kinda of way.
Can you believe that I can go on like this for hours? I know, I was amazed as well. Lets bring it back to earth. You probably wondered 'what did kabuki do today?' So I shall give you a glimpse.
11:30 am I am awakened by the lovely squawking of the little birdies in the living room. I uncover them. Let the dog out. Fistful of Prozac, 32oz iced tea, bagel w/ cream cheese. couple ginger snaps. Check my email, my ebay, my phone, my cell-phone.
feed the birdies, doggie gets a bone, open the windows, then kinda fade out for awhile. Quite common in fibromyalgia, they call it 'the fog'.
3:00 eat a hamburger, make sun tea, take out the trash. feed the pigeons in the back yard. take some snapshots of my yard, trees, cars, and such. watch a little 'dr. phil', whom i do not care for. (Know your enemy). What a sanctimonius prig.
4:00 Get the mail, make some phone calls. Surf a little net. Go unload the car. I have been given a box of craft supplies that belonged to my mother. I hope to sell some of the supplies on eBay. The box weighs tons. I, ever curious, investigate. This enormous box is filled with : sequins, beads, jewelry settings, pieces of wire, rhinestones, polished rocks (my mother loved rocks, i do not know why). All very interesting. And then, then motherlode. In the bottom of the box are pieces of jewelry from the 70's. All handmade. All hideous, I am talking macrame, beaded keychains, cracked marbles, and the entire worlds' supply of clip-on earring blanks. I am talking hundreds. Also screw-back earring blanks. Perhaps mom was going to corner the market on hand-made earrings for the non-pierced set, who can say.
6:00 a steak on the grill, small portion of mashed potatoes, a side salad. Pineapple slices and grapes for dessert.
8:00 after dinner I removed the racing gas-tank, springs and shocks I still had in the back of the car. More ebay delights. If you should require a clip-on earring with a cracked-marble glued on, or a set of shocks to lower your pick-up truck - well please holla.
Thats all for now my pretties, next time - fostering a one-eyed quaker parrot and dissecting a ZenV mp3 player. abiento - kabuki zero