i would die for you - just not right away - kinda busy livin (repost from april 2008)

I just realised it has been a year since i almost expired, (so true, are you teary-eyed yet?) just like a half-gallon of milk. Only i didn't get all curdly and smell bad. (i hope) So dear reader - i have tossed off my melancholy, and am ready to kick lifes' ass. Put a prince cd in the boombox, hand me something wet (in a glass, please) and step back. Or step off, just move out of the way. Cuz if you don't - there will be serious windburns on your ass. I said ass twice already, must be ass season. and don't make me break my foot off in your ass. especially if i am wearing my silver snake-skin cha-cha pumps. Big sunglasses, i got 'em. notice the use of the capital letter B, that is to add emphasis to my sentence. see how i start and end with or with punctuation, just like i wanna. controversial, thats what i am. Now if somebody would get off their ass and find me a MAN i would consider a monthly stipend for your services. I might not even keep him and I promise to be gentle. Maybe you should get man insurance - just in case. Accidents do happen out here in the country, and i would be crushed if a badger ate the MAN you lent me. We would speak of it only once. And i would never fly a kite again. as a way to honor him. even if he wasn't killed by a kite. As a matter of fact - i vow to never fly a kite - now - at this moment in time. To future honor the memory of the man you might lend me, who probably wouldn't get eaten by a badger. You don't find this kind of compassion in the young, it is reserved for us aged souls. And honey, my soul is as aged as i ever imagined it could be. Like a fine pamesian cheese. i am far older than i thought was possible (gene pool is fetid) so its all gravy from here. Only i don't like gravy, and it should be something i like. OK - its all ice cream - no, lactose intolerant - OK its all brownies and something else good (to be decided later). I don't know whats up with all the food analogies - maybe i am peckish. a gnosh is in my immediate future. i made rice krispy squares earlier. And i made them in a round pan. tell somebody, i don't even care. because i love you, and you love them, and we all love ourselves (maybe a little too much) and if you hurry there is still time to fit a little joy into today. Make some rice krispy squares, i dare you. fit some fun into your life, because you may not be able to later. Oh, and find me that man too. Much loves to you from me. kabuki zero

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